


Return of the Prodigal Son

by Cellardoor26



Series: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Humor, Best friends to enemies to ???, Canon-Typical Violence, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Lightsaber Battles, We all know it'll be lovers, angst with eventual HEA, jk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:29:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellardoor26/pseuds/Cellardoor26
Summary: Her body seems to hum, that familiar feeling whenever she’s near Ben; she lifts a hand from her weapon, reaching to pull off his mask. The man lowers his arm from her back, and Rey drags in a deep breath as her fingers touch his neck, curling against the edge of the mask, knowing in her bones that her best friend is here, he wouldn’t hurt her; she's safe.And that’s the last thought Rey has as the masked figure brings his sword hilt down on her head. Rey goes out like a light, already lost and unfeeling when Ben reaches out to catch her.--Part One of a Three Part Series. AU Fusion where Star Wars meets something similar to but not-quite-like our world. There will be pining, true love, true pain, adventure, puns, friendship, family drama, and since it's Rey's POV - so many descriptions of food.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864831
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Rey’s running along the sidewalk, steps in tempo with her heartbeat. It should be a relaxed beat; the sky is an idealyc blue, the sun gives a steadying warmth, and the wind carries the heady perfume of waning summer, but Rey’s just - finally - lost sight of three thugs wielding unfriendly weapons, and her heart hammers in her chest to keep running, even if this neighborhood is safe and retribution free. 

It’s only when she’s out of breath, the cloying feeling from her spine removed that Rey lets herself come to a complete stop, taking a moment to put her hand against the wall of the nearest building, trying to catch her breath and not peer over her shoulder. Snoke’s men are long gone, but the urge remains to double check. 

Rey is known as overly cautious, but it’s not a bad trait for an orphan to have. Especially with the company she keeps. 

Her neck is craned to look behind her, the urge given in, when Rey hears a large rap from a window on the wall she’s leaning against. Rey turns to the noise so fast her neck twinges, but a smile lights up her features, knocking on the window is Luke Skywalker, who doesn’t look surprised in the least to see her, gesturing for her to come inside. Rey’s smile grows, and she can’t help but look over her shoulder hoping.. There, a few feet behind him is Ben Solo, nephew to Luke. 

Before he’d gone off to college he would have been the one to notice her first, to beckon her inside, or even to be panting along inside her. Now his gaze is fixed away from her, the only tell that he knows she’s here the vague tension in his frame. Her smile drops slightly, but she nods her head to Luke and heads for the door to the diner - one of Luke’s famous haunts - she had been unwittingly leaning against. 

Rey’s breathing has evened out by the time she’s sliding into Luke’s booth, even if her heart beat’s still a bit elevated. She means to say something flippant, it’s best to distract Luke before he starts interrogating her about whatever scrap she’s fallen into, but her eyes are searching for the figure she saw and her filter’s off because she blurts out, 

“Did Ben leave because I showed up?” Her eyes flutter back to Luke because she didn’t mean to say that, but, since it’s there she’s curious for the answer. His eyebrow raises, a sure sign she’s amused him, but his voice is calm when he speaks. 

“My nephew leave because of you? No. He’ll be back shortly.” 

“Oh.” Rey breathes out, and then because she can’t help herself. “But you two are eating together? That’s good.” Ben and Luke had a falling out shortly before Ben left for college, and hasn’t mellowed during his time at Law school. Neither of them will discuss what happened, and as the years have passed Rey’s overwhelming curiosity has mellowed into complicated interest. Back then it had torn at her that they wouldn’t trust her with the events, now she’s worried they’ll never be mended. They’re the two most important people in her life (except her long awaited parents, of course) and it is unimaginable for her that two people who are family would choose to stay disconnected. 

“Ah, unfortunately that’s untrue as well; I was enjoying a nice cup of coffee before my next lesson when my dear nephew came inside for a tantrum.” Rey opens her mouth to ask what exactly that means when Luke’s gaze shifts, and it’s clear his attention has shifted back to her. “And to what do I owe this pleasure?” He asks.

Rey’s caught between conflicting desires - she can either evade his questions, hoping he’ll give up before Ben rejoins them or rush through an explanation before Ben returns. Either way her intention is that Ben can’t know.

Ever since Ben left (and then came back! Her voice reminds her, even in her musings) he’s been so hot and cold. Sometimes he’ll corner her in one of her haunts, his arms laden with cuisine he’ll regale her about while he watches her eat, plying her with questions about the minutiae of her life. Other times his voice goes cold, words bitten out like he has a quota around her he’ll soon use up, critiquing her lackluster clothing choices and refusing to laugh at her jokes. Part of her longs for the simpler times when they’d run around together, thicker than thieves - except that’s not quite true, because even when he won’t talk to her Ben looks at her with such a heady intensity her whole body hums with electricity. 

For a girl who spent most of her life overlooked it’s an exquisite feeling. 

Apparently her musings have lasted longer than Rey would like, because when she looks up at Luke his face is concerned, and that does it. She doesn’t want him to worry about her.

“Unkar went after a car in Snoke’s area, and Snoke sent men after me, he’s under some mistaken notion that Unkar will care if I get roughened up. It was only three men, but you’ll be happy to note that I chose to disengage.” 

Luke makes a noise of approval and Rey feels the smallest twinge of embarrassment, the only reason she hadn’t engaged was because she didn’t have a weapon nearby. Even though Luke taught her how to fight, how to hone her natural abilities, he’s constantly harping on her not to use them. He just wants her safe. 

“Well that’s something.” Luke says, eyes sweeping over her to corroborate her story, checking for injuries. It had taken awhile for Rey to let down her guard and always supply the truth when Luke asked, and he still double checks her. It should bother her- Ben hates it - but some part of Rey delights in it instead, that someone would care to make sure. 

A waitress comes up then, filling up Luke’s water. 

“Oh, can we get two more?” Rey asks, “And some lemon slices?” 

“That's all you want?” The waitress asks. She’s a recent addition but she’s seen Rey a few times and acts affronted that Rey never orders food. But this place is richer than her blood (any restaurant is richer than her blood) and so Rey shakes her head, which is a shame because her fevered sprint has worked up quite the appetite. 

Once the waitress leaves with a glowering look Rey glances around the back of the diner, checking for Ben, when the seat shifts beside her, and she didn't need to look after all, because Ben’s sitting beside her. 

“Hey.” She says softly, not sure which side of Ben she’ll see today. Ben is usually prickly around Luke, but they also haven’t seen or spoken in more than a week, and that usually means he’ll be sweet with her. She attributes the swooping sensation in her stomach to waiting to find out what mood Ben will be in. 

Ben moves closer, until their legs are pressed together - she can feel the indentation of his phone in his pocket, but he doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t look at her. His attention is focused on Luke and it’s clear she interrupted them from a tense debate that Ben is remiss to end. Rey lets her breath out in a rush, not realizing she’d been holding it. So it’ll be like that then- caustic Ben. 

Because she can’t stand it when they argue Rey says the first thing that pops into her head. 

“I tried frozen yogurt last night.” Ben’s reaction is immediate, his head turns to face her, and his gaze has shifted to her face, strong and assessing.

“You ate frozen yogurt. Last night.” He repeats, as if he has no idea why she said that. Distantly Rey feels a bit of danger, that she shouldn’t continue her story, but Luke looks endlessly amused and for once they aren’t fighting, so she ignores the voice in her head telling her to shut up. 

“Yeah! Well - I was at the store and Rego told me-'' At Ben’s blank look she adds, “-you’ve met him like four times, he’s the guy who always at the check out at Nimaii Outpost?” Ben nods, though it looks like he doesn’t want to admit he remembers, “Anyway, he said it was his birthday and he had this buy one get one coupon from them, and it was like 90 degrees outside so we went..” Rey trails off. She oddly thinks of making banal comments about the weather next. Can you believe it’s still so hot at the end of September?

Ben’s look has shifted from the warm heat to a hard clinical look, and she feels a shiver travel up her spine. Deciding she’s being weird Rey forces out the rest of the story, which has already lost steam and feels like a bizarre statement of disjointed facts, “I basically tried every flavor. Birthday cake is really good. And they have gummy bears as a topping.” Rey’s barely aware of what she’s saying. Ben has closed the distance between them, face so close she can count his eyelashes, and when she rears back a bit he follows, as though this is the optimal distance to stare her down. Rey has to agree it certainly has thrown her off.

“Sounds refreshing.” Luke adds, eyeing the distance between them. Rey is used to intense Ben, but she doesn’t understand his reaction here, and she feels embarrassed by it in front of Luke. Clearly this situation calls for something but Rey has no idea what that is. She doesn’t even know what’s wrong. 

It’s at this point the waitress returns, not with her requested waters but a pastrami sandwich, which is her favorite meal from here, and a bowl of soup, which is what Ben orders when he’s not hungry but pretending to be so he can buy her lunch.

“I’ll be right back with those lemon waters.” The waitress says, tone far more chipper now that they’ve ordered food. She turns to Luke, but he’s already shaking his head, sliding out of the booth. 

“Much as I’d love to watch this play out once more, I have a class to teach. Rey, I’ll see you on Sunday. Ben.” Luke says. 

“We’re not finished here.” Ben grounds out. It’s clear the remark is meant for Luke, although his eyes haven’t lifted from Rey’s face. 

“You know where to find me.” Luke replies, and then he’s gone. 

“Did you order this?” Rey asks, even though it’s obvious he has. She kind of wants to ask Ben to move to the other side of the table, but it feels weird to request that with the tension in the air. She thinks about asking him to also stop looking at her like that, but before she can get the words out he speaks, and then she’s incandescent with rage. 

“Did you fuck him afterwards?” 

“What?” It’s more an expulsion of air than a question. “How could you ask me that?” 

“Easily. The question formed in my mind and I used the powers of human speech -” Rey pushes Ben, both hands on his chest, with enough force that he’d obviously been expecting it or he’d be on the ground right now. Instead he slides until they’re no longer touching, and Rey feels like she can breathe again. 

“I don’t know what ice cream means to you Benjamin Organa Solo, but we didn’t so much as hold hands. It wasn’t even a date.” Rey’s voice has gone loud at the end of the sentence, and she knows her cheeks are flushed red. She avoids his eyes and hunkers down. Rey hates making a scene. 

Still, whatever she said must have worked, because Ben’s tone is positively jovial when he responds. 

“I should hope not, if he bought your food with a coupon.” Ben adds easily, turning to his soup. It seems whatever rage has let him, but Rey’s burning up with it. 

“What does that matter?” Rey asks, offended and prickly, “And who orders soup when it’s hot outside?” She adds, wanting his ire. 

“It’s cool in here.” He explains, not looking at her but smiling slyly. Clearly it’s a pun but Rey won’t be amused by it. 

“Go sit on the other side.” Rey continues, hoping to upset him. 

“No.”

“Ben.” She reaches out to push him again, but he grabs her hand, lifting it to his mouth. He kisses her knuckles, lips lingering before he speaks. 

“I apologize for upsetting you. Luke was obstinate before you arrived and it put me in a foul mood. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” And all at once Rey’s anger melts. 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” She says, but there’s no bite to her words.

“Do you still want me to sit on the other bench?” He asks, thumb drifting over her knuckles. Rey hesitates, and Ben’s eyes flick to hers. His gaze is warm again, eyes beseeching her. 

“You can stay.” She decides, and all hurt feelings disappear as she watches a genuine smile form. It’s so hard to win these days. 

And when he doesn’t relinquish her hand, trying to make her laugh and eat one-handed Rey nearly forgets about the incident entirely. 

The sun’s been down for hours, it’s presence well missed by Rey. The heat wave Rey has enjoyed is truly over, and frigid nights have taken its place. 

For once the weather is of little concern to Rey. While her home is momentarily without heat, the bar she’s in is blasting it, and Rey feels blessed relief. Technically Rey’s seventeen, and shouldn’t be allowed in, but this establishment’s known for being lax with all manner of rule, and so Rey’s been coming here whenever she was desperate for a respite from the elements. Really, the only issue with it has to do with why it’s so easy for Rey to get inside - whenever a place is lax around law it tends to become a spot for Snoke’s men to congregate.

Still, Rey prides herself on being able to spot - and hide - around Snoke’s men, so she holes herself into a corner and enjoys the central heating. In fact, she has no intention of moving, except her eyes catch sight of Ben. 

Ben, who has been MIA since the diner, responding to her texts with terse one-worded replies, who refuses to respond to her selfies in kind so she hasn’t seen him in five weeks, who tells her every time that she offers to make the trip to his apartment so the hermit doesn’t have to go outside that he’s too busy with school work. 

Granted, he’s in the last semester of law school so it is possible, but Rey feels a keen sense that Ben is trying to contain how often he sees her. 

Much later Rey will wish she had stayed in her corner, that she’d simply watched Ben to see what he was doing here, but the Rey of this evening hops off her stool, making a beeline for her best friend. 

“Hi Ben!” Rey calls out, somewhat superfluous, as she taps him on his shoulder. He turns to look at her, head angled down and Rey can’t stop the smile from spreading across her face, she hasn’t seen him in forever, and he looks so good, hair gleaming and dark grey sweater stretched across his shoulders. A sight for sore eyes, spreads through her mind. 

“What are you doing here?” They ask it at the same time, but their inflections couldn’t be more different. Rey’s voice is happy, pleased to see him, Ben sounds cold and hostile. Rey’s smile doesn’t leave her face, but it’s a dim shadow compared to what it was, and she hesitates to respond. 

“You’re not here with anyone.” Ben continues, tone incredulous as eyes glancing around to make sure his statement is correct. And all of a sudden Rey can’t deal with the man in front of her. He’d been cold and terse with her for weeks - for years -, and now to insinuate that it’s nearly unfathomable for her to have a friend with her? Rey feels more done with Ben Solo than she ever has before. 

“Bye Ben.” She says to him, and then sidesteps him to make way to the bar. She could do with a drink. 

She’s leaning against the edge, using the rim to sway slightly when she feels his presence behind her. Rey refuses to acknowledge him, catching a bartender’s eye. 

“Could I get a Trandoshan ale?” She asks. In a perfect world this would not be Rey’s drink of choice, but it has the most calories in her price range. In some ways Rey is a stereotype of her sex, counting calories in every food she sees, but in her case she counts to get as many as possible. 

The drink’s placed in front of her as she reaches for the change she keeps in her pocket. Unkar had always taught her not to go for her main source of cash in public, but to always have a few smaller sources to draw from. It’s one of the few pieces of advice he’s given her.

However, before she can place it on the counter a twenty dollar bill is next to her drink, and she knows Ben is trying to make amends for his poor behavior. Usually Rey would turn around and thank him, or return the bill and yell at him, but Rey feels tired, the constant push and pull Ben gives her is exhausting. 

So she doesn’t turn around, doesn’t acknowledge him paying for her drink, and simply tilts her head back, finishing the glass in several large gulps. 

“Do you want a pitcher?” The bartender asks, evidently having watched her. 

“That’d be great.” Rey finds herself agreeing to, sliding the bill towards the woman. 

However, this is too much for Ben and he grabs her shoulders, spinning her around. 

“You’re seventeen.” He reminds her, fingers pressing into her. Rey can see it’s on the tip of his tongue to go off on a tangent about developing brains and the toxicity of alcohol. 

“So you’re worried about my brain development but not driving me fucking insane with your behavior?” It’s probably the alcohol that makes her say it, although Rey has been rehearsing this speech in her head for the past three years, ever since Ben went off to college and decided to come home a brooding cunt. 

Except it had really been before that, hadn’t it? When they’d gone swimming the summer before and Ben alternated between heated gazes and pointed distance. At the time it had made her feel reckless and overwhelmed. What a fool she’d been. 

“My behavior?” He echoes, as though that hadn’t passed through his mind in the least. His hands twitch as though to move but he doesn’t release her. 

“Yes Ben. Do you even -” She wants to finish the sentence with care about me anymore but she’ll never be drunk enough for that, “want to be friends anymore? You won’t respond when I text you, and you never pick up my calls, and whenever we do manage to hang out you seem angry with me half the time. Did I do something wrong?” And there it is, the part of her that assumes if something's gone wrong it’s because of something she did, even though she’s racked her brains and come up with nothing. 

“No- no Rey. I’ve just… had a lot on my plate.” Ben says. Rey waits for him to continue, after she’d bared her heart to him, she expects more than that, but apparently that’s all he intends to say, and so he simply stares at her, his hands growing restless on her shoulders. Rey scoffs. It is an ugly sound. 

“Right.” She says, when the silence has stretched on past any hope of him continuing. “Awesome. Great talk.” She spins around and grabs the pitcher that’s been placed there some time ago, eyeing the change because it’s against her nature not to notice resources around her (especially when they don’t belong to her) before leaving it with a determined look. 

She drops the pitcher on a random table, making for the door. To her everlasting horror Rey realizes she expected Ben to follow after her, and she has to will herself not to cry on the lonely walk home.


	2. 2

Rey doesn’t have any real time to go after Ben for his awful behavior - though he deserves it - because when Unkar wasn’t directly threatened with reprisal for going against Snoke, he becomes more outlandish in his subsequent attacks, and so Rey has been fielding beatings left and right. 

Rey’s not a target simply because she works for Unkar Plutt; he’s her guardian. Left by her parents at the tender age of four with a promise to return Rey’s spent most of her life in Unkar’s junkyard known far and wide for fixing up anything old for a price. 

Really though, Unkar owns a network of people who steal whatever isn’t nailed down (or sometimes is) and has a team of people fix up the items for resale value. They’re known as scavengers, people who work for Unkar, and their personalities shift from downright despicable to merely horrendous. At seventeen years of age Rey knows every person in Unkar’s domain on sight, and has worked with a fair amount of them. 

She refuses to steal for Unkar anymore - that and being able to go to school are the only battles she’s ever won against him - but because of them Rey has to spend almost all of her free time fixing up whatever others bring in, barely earning enough for her room and board. Unkar won’t let her starve, but he takes a very liberal approach to what that means, and hunger remains a true companion for Rey. 

That, and the promise of beatings. 

Unkar himself won’t hit her, but he has goons to keep order in his house, and he has a propensity to use her as an example for others. If Unkar will let a seven year old get beaten for shirking her responsibilities, what hope do they have of slacking off?

Unkar’s other competition (slowly picked off through the years so there’s only one standing now) have also tried to use Rey as an example. Before she’d met Luke she’d either tried (and mostly failed) to fight them off, or run, but after a decade of his teaching it’s hard to view their attacks as anything other than posturing. 

Except lately, due to Unkar’s posturing, Snoke had been sending larger groups to beat the shit out of her. 

It’s made her twitchy and nervous. It’s not that she can’t take a few bruises, or doesn’t know how to fight against superior numbers, it’s that Unkar has a fucking death wish and keeps sending Scavengers into Snoke’s territory, resulting in Snoke sending men closer to his. 

They haven’t come into the junkyard yet, but it’s only a matter of time, and to Rey’s everlasting regret she still lives here, her home a broken down apartment on top of one of Unkar’s garages. As she scrubs the fender of a ‘36 x-wing (what a stupid name for a car) her mind turns over the offer Luke made during their last sparring session, when he wasn’t telling her about the merits of SAT prep and applying to colleges nearby. He’d offered the couch in the back of his sparring studio, “just until things calm down at home”. Rey had never been more tempted to accept his offer. 

Except. 

Rey knows her parents are coming for her. And every day they don’t arrive is just one step closer to when they will. If she had accepted Luke’s offer that meant she wouldn’t be here, ready to see them, ready for them to save her; it would be tantamount to accepting - believing - they wouldn’t come back. And that would mean the last thirteen years were for nothing. Rey can’t handle that implication.

Anyway, it wasn’t that bad, not really. Unkar would come to his senses and back off, Snoke’s men would get tired of trying (and failing) to beat her, and things would go back to normal. 

It’s with that thought that the light in the garage goes out. 

Rey, not born a survivor but shaped into one through the years of her life, reacts instinctively. She drops the sponge in her hand, moving into a crouch, and reaches for the wrench nearby her foot. Breathing through her nose she rises, knowing where to place her steps so that her tread remains silent as she makes her way to the dark interior of the wall. Her reasoning is twofold: cover her back and remove the possibility of a shadow hinting to her whereabouts.

Her eyes adjust to the dark as she strains for any unfamiliar sounds. Just when Rey begins to concede she’s being paranoid, that perhaps Unkar shut down the power, forgetting she’s still working - the garage door rises. The mechanical part of Rey wonders how they did it when the power’s obviously still out while the survivor in her crouches down once more, grabbing another tool on the floor (Thank The Maker Dephne never cleans up her workstation) and letting it fly before the door’s halfway up. 

Rationally Rey knows the slow door rising is supposed to fill her with dread as she waits in tender-hooks to see her pursuers, but Rey can’t help but grin. Instead it lets her see the legs of two people, who are standing near enough she can easily take them out by the knees while their vision is blocked by their machinations. 

Their screams fill the night air before the door rests in its raised position, which Rey ignores beyond the thought that they won’t be getting up again, because the moonlight’s cast five more in stark relief. This throws her for only a moment, because Snoke generally sends teams in pairs, but she decides to accept her good fortune as she takes three steps back - letting them think they’ve scared her after all- to reach for the staff she kept hidden behind a post.

Rey takes a moment to look at the scene before her, the way Luke’s always insisted she checks her battle surroundings, listening for any tell tale sounds that the missing fiend is behind her, but that space is silent, and the five men in front of her converge, so Rey loses herself in the moment, jumping into the frey. 

Ten minutes before Rey had been exhausted by the late hour and her hip was hurting from an ill timed whack from Luke’s fighting sticks, but now Rey’s blood thrums, and she feels alive - whole - as she takes down the man in front of her. Already moving into her next thrust, she feels a rush of endorphins as the battle rages, Rey is in the center of a complex fight and everyone moves around her, trying to take her down. 

In a few respects Rey is lucky - she’d grabbed her staff, with its length and durability it is the perfect weapon for the scrap she’s in - letting her stay out of reach of her opponents, driving them off so she can fight heavily against one or two. 

Her next strike is they’re on her home turf, and Rey knows these grounds. She knows where gravel meets concrete, where the land slopes, where water pools. She uses the ground just as well as her staff to take her opponents down. 

And then of course, the true aspect of this night Rey is grateful for - none of Snoke’s men have any real talent. They’re tall and well muscled of course, but they fight as they’ve been taught, without deviation for insight or creativity. Each time she’s fought against them they had a similar fighting style- it led to feeling like she was switching between interchangeable partners. Rey felled a person, and a replica of their talent rose in their place. That and the late night lent a dream-like quality to this fight, and Rey looks around in confusion for her next opponent before realizing she’d beaten them all. She stands surrounded by moaning bodies, her chest heaving.

Rey felt sudden embarrassment, at some point she’d stopped counting opponents. If this were a true fight she could have been in serious trouble; this was not her best work. 

It was with that thought thrumming through her head Rey jogs back to the garage, reaching for her backpack. At least for the next part she would follow her advice; making a circuitous exit so that Snoke’s people wouldn’t know for certain that she still lived on Unkar’s property. She might go scamper into a tree for an hour or two, just to be extra cautious in the face of her earlier behavior. 

Rey’s reaching for her backpack, leaning over, when she hears the soft intake of breath, so different from the moans of pain behind her. Immediately Rey spins to the noise, bag discarded as her hands find their most comfortable placement on the staff, engaged so she could easily swipe down at whoever it is, mind berating her for her lapse once again - there was a sixth opponent!

And this person is taller than her. Dressed all in black, with a mask of their face. 

“Are you wearing a cape?” Rey asks, not one for banter in fighting but also so amused she can’t help herself. The figure doesn’t react, except a slight shifting of their feet. Rey sees it’s more so a cowl than cape, but still. Weird. As if uncomfortable by her gaze the person shifts again, and the action brings Rey’s gaze lower until she notices his weapon, one of those glowing swords that are rarely seen because of their destructive power both towards their enemies, and the one wielding it. Rey’s stomach drops, only someone of considerable intelligence and dexterity would be foolhardy enough to make that their weapon. 

Ignoring the voice that tries to remind her she’d promised Luke she’d run if she ever came across such a foe Rey sprints across the shallow distance between them, wanting an end to this evening once and for all. 

Rey’s fear grows as she watches the masked figure stand without movement, and she changes her grip to knock him down, mind focused on incapacitating him long enough for her to escape - ears straining for the shift in tone of the moans behind her that means they’re ready for another round - when he raises his weapon at the last possible moment, using the handle to block her attack. 

It is stupid, and leaves his side wide open, which Rey uses to her advantage, stepping close to use her weight for maximum effect. Rey’s already watching him crumble in her mind’s eye, deciding he probably stole the weapon from Snoke to intimidate and has no true idea how to use it. She’s so close to him she can hear the hard thump of her staff reverberate against his side and his pained breathing in response, but his stance doesn’t change. 

Terror creeps upon her, only a master could handle a blow like that and not respond. Rey knows with sudden clarity that he is deadly proficient with his weapon, he’s just choosing not to use it on her. 

Rey tries to make a tactical retreat, her mind now helpfully reminding her that his sword can easily shear her weapon in half, when the man moves with deliberation, one hand grasping her staff. He doesn’t try to disarm her, instead he keeps it immobile at his side. Rey chances a moment to look at his face, to understand why he’d choose that maneuver, but then remembers he’s wearing a mask. 

Rey tightens her hands on her staff, half her mind berating her for the mistake, when she realizes his other hand was also in play. It stops to rest at the small of her back, and it could be a lover’s embrace, except it holds his weapon, which is near enough to her shirt that she can feel it’s heat. Rey instinctively moves closer to give herself breathing room, but of course his hand follows, and she’s made the situation worse. Her mind has gone horribly blank. She can’t free her weapon without impaling herself on his, and now she’s too close to really try. 

Rey has never dueled like this - she’s never been so expertly beaten so quickly - except she has, hasn’t she? When Ben would still come to Luke’s studio and train with her. It’s been years, and it’s an insane prospect, but now that she’s reminded of him she can make sense of her instincts - they are alive, shouting that this is Ben, this is her friend.

It’s for this reason Rey speaks, her breath coming in short pants, voice so strained it almost didn’t sound like his name. He doesn’t respond. At least in any way that Rey can see. But her body seems to hum, that familiar feeling whenever she’s near Ben; she lifts a hand from her weapon, reaching to pull off his mask. The man - Ben?- lowers his arm from her back, and Rey drags in a deep breath as her fingers touch his neck, curling against the edge, knowing in her bones that her best friend is here, he wouldn’t hurt her, she is safe. 

And that’s the last thought Rey has as the masked figure brings his sword hilt down on her head. Rey goes out like a light, already lost and unfeeling when Ben reaches out to catch her. 

Awareness comes to Rey in small degrees. First she feels pain (that was always first), letting her know she’d been sloppy in her work, and then too slow to get away from the beating. Then comes the typical grogginess that accompanies too little sleep, and finally she can’t stretch her arms, which means.. Rey doesn’t know what that means, and her eyes snap open. 

She’s lying on hardwood floors, a pillow underneath her head, and her arms are stretched in an awkward angle. It’s then quickly apparent, even with her throbbing head, why she can’t move her arms; her wrists are tied to a radiator. But - oh, not just any radiator. The one in her room. The one that’s constantly breaking down and she’s been forced to become intimately acquainted as she has to fix it every other month.

Right now it’s emitting a contained, warm heat, warming the area around her. Rey groans, because it should be too hot to touch, scorching anything near it. Before the end of the week she’ll have it take it apart and fix whatever’s reduced its capacity. 

Of course first she’ll have to get herself out of this mess. One step at a time. 

Rey slowly eases herself into a sitting position, body nearly sliding up the wall as her arms come to rest on the radiator itself. As positions go it’s not terribly comfortable, and Rey maneuvers until she’s sitting on the pillow she’d been lying on. Rey blinks dumbly, looking around at her home with new eyes. It’s still dark outside, but several of her lamps are turned on, giving the room a hazy glow and letting Rey know her captor has fixed the power, which means he likely had turned it off in the first place. The room itself looks untouched from when she left it this morning, but there are clinking sounds emanating from the part of the room she uses as a kitchen. She doesn’t need to strain to peer over the half wall that surrounds that area to know whoever is in there is fixing a glass of water. Rey closes her eyes, letting the wall hold her up. 

Exactly three people know where Rey lives (Five, her mind insists), and only one is aware of all the security she uses about her home to get in without issue. 

The part of her that’s been foolishly hoping it’s not Ben she’d been fighting with earlier gives up, because there’s no way her masked opponent could both fight like Ben, and get inside her own home like Ben, without actually being Ben. 

Frantic, her mind turns to the hopeful delusion that Ben was simply on a midnight stroll, wearing a strange costume, with a dangerous weapon, and wasn’t overseeing a deliberate attack on her person, obviously in league with Snoke. 

Rey lets go of that delusion as well, but it’s so much harder. 

The noises in the kitchen cease, and Rey listens to Ben’s familiar tread as he comes into her living room slash bedroom slash place of captivity. She hears him stop, no doubt realizing she’s awake, before continuing with a determined air, coming to a halt in front of her. 

“I know you’re awake.” He speaks. His voice sounds different under the mask. Mechanical. Rey opens her eyes, tilting her head up. He still has his gear on, that stupid cowl and all black clothes. She didn’t see his weapon, no doubt as a means to assure her he means no harm, but he did tie her up, so what did that really prove? He was also holding a glass of water, and in his other hand two blue capsules. 

“So I shouldn’t have more than a beer but accepting pills from a masked stranger who tied me up after knocking me out is a solid life choice?” Ben lets out a huff of air, which was about as close as he came to laughing nowadays. Rey’s horrified to feel a flush of pride that she’s produced it. 

She watches him come to kneel before her, setting down the glass to lift off his mask, and it’s so much worse. Even though she knew it was Ben, to see his familiar face, the constellation of his moles, his deep brown eyes, the way his hair falls over his forehead, Rey’s lip quiver and she quickly bites down on it so she won’t betray herself further. But Ben sees. Of course he sees.

“It’s not like you think.” Ben begins, Rey cuts him off. 

“So you haven’t joined with Snoke and led a raid on Unkar’s lot to beat me bloody as a message for him to back off of Snoke’s territory?” Ben doesn’t respond, and it’s clear that’s exactly what happened. Instead he sighs, tone and timber reminiscent of when she’d refused to watch Lord of the Rings one more time. 

It’s heartbreaking to hear. 

“Open up.” Rey would protest further except her head’s killing her, so she lowers her jaw. Ben looks at her mouth for a moment, and then slowly places the pills on her tongue, letting his fingers rest on her lower lip. Rey raises an eyebrow at him, and that seems to remind him of the next part, he brings the cup to her lips. This isn’t the first time Ben’s held a glass for her, but it’s definitely the strangest, and Rey nearly coughs as she tries to drink the pills down. 

“Are you going to untie me?” Rey asks the moment Ben lifts the glass from her mouth. 

“Are you going to be reasonable and listen to everything I have to say without getting angry and try to cause an altercation instead?” Ben asks, Rey opens her mouth and then closes it. 

“No.” She finally responds. Her head still hurts and she has no interest in listening to Ben explain his terrible life choices, nor why he’s decided to cleave to a path he’s always been desperate for her to leave. 

“Well there’s your answer.” He’s still kneeling before her, one hand holding the glass while the other grips his thigh so tightly she thinks it’ll cause bruises. Rey has an odd urge to put her hand over his, smoothing it out. But her hands are tied, in every sense of the word, and so she just stares at him, trying not to cry, trying not to feel the whiplash from finally knowing why he’d been so distant and wishing she didn’t. 

“I.” He starts, swallows and his gaze is so warm. A slight smile forms on his face, and his eyes bounce around hers, as if memorizing this moment. By the time his mouth opens Rey knows whatever he’s going to say will be very bad; “I’m in love with you.” 

Say what you will about Ben Solo; he’s never played fair. 

“Since when?” Rey asks, her eyes are blown wide, and she doesn’t believe him, but she also can’t stop the hope lighting up in her chest. 

“Since I met you.” She has a brief moment of recollection; they were at a picnic in Gavoan park, it was the first time she’d had watermelon and juice ran down her face. She’d just used the bottom of her shirt to wipe at the juice and Ben.. Ben hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. He’d called her a glutton but she’d smiled because she didn’t know what that word meant and she’d never had someone look at her the way he did.

“Bullshit.” 

“Only you wouldn’t believe a love confession, even one as poorly concealed as mine has been.” He’s still looking at her in that fond way. Rey’s mind desperately wants to replay their entire relationship, to look for clues to corroborate what he’s saying. 

She won’t let herself. 

“You’re just trying to get me to forgive you for tying me up. And knocking me out. And ignoring my messages. And playing so hot and cold before that. And-” She doesn’t want to say his last crime, because it’s such a betrayal to her, so he says it for her. He’s always helped her, even when she can’t ask him to. 

“And for joining Snoke?” 

“Ben why?” Because she truly doesn’t get it. “You have Luke, even with you guys fighting, and two parents who love you and..” She knows that he doesn’t believe that, they have been neglectful to the point of criminal from time to time - there’s a reason she’s never met them - but Rey’s standard for familial care is low, and she doesn’t really understand Ben’s anger at their substandard behavior, “they gave you a real home. You weren’t born into this world, you don’t belong here.”

“And you do?” He says it so vehemently Rey doesn’t respond right away. She doesn’t know what to say, because yes, between the two of them Rey does belong in this world, even if she’s trying to get out. “Do you know what Snoke calls his enterprise?” His tone of voice is reminiscent of all the nights they’ve spent hunched over a book, Ben explaining something that Rey should have known but didn’t because she’d had to miss school. 

“First Order.” Rey hedges, not sure where this is going. 

“It’s original name was the Sith Empire. It ranged over triple the territory, and it was run by Darth Vader.” Rey’s heard of him before, whispers between the older scavengers; the guy was insane. 

“Didn’t Luke take him down?” It’s hearsay, Rey hasn’t asked Luke directly about it; he’d always clammed up around the topic. Ben nods, and then speaks in a rush. 

“And it was the worst thing to happen to this city. Vader kept the peace, there was no Unkar or Teedo to carve out the city and abuse the weak and helpless. Under Vader’s rule people were united, they were safe, you would have been safe.” Rey is speechless. Wait, no she isn’t. 

“Safe?! Ben you brought Snoke’s men into where I work! Do they know where I live?” A dark thought overcomes her, and she glances at the door, “Do they know how to get in?” This seems to shock Ben. 

“Of course not. You can’t think I’d do that to you?” Rey shakes her wrists for dramatic effect.

“Rey I’m doing this for your benefit. Unkar’s gone mad with his slice of power and he’s intent on taking Snoke on. I - Snoke trusts me, and I’ve been protecting you from-”

“This is you protecting me?!” 

“Yes.” He’s nearly shouting. It’s clear he’s furious with her. Rey changes tactics. 

“So you joined Snoke for me?” Ben doesn’t respond right away and Rey presses her advantage. “How long have you been working for Snoke?” 

“Two years.” 

“Fuck.” Rey breathes out, that’s far longer than she expected. She tries to imagine what they were doing two years ago but her mind rebels against it. “Why didn’t you tell me then?” 

“I knew how you’d react.” He says it like she’s the unreasonable one. 

“Were you going to tell me?” 

“No,” His voice is quiet, but it’s clear. Rey is unfathomably hurt by his admission. 

“Does everyone know?” 

“Who’s everyone?”

“Luke!” Rey bursts out, “Leia! Han!” Rey’s never been given permission to call them by their first names but ever since Ben left to- since he joined Snoke - he’s started to refer to them by their names, and so has she. 

“They’re aware.” And it’s clear he’s remembering a painful confrontation. 

“But I didn’t make the cut.”

“Rey.” 

“Ben, you didn’t join Snoke because of me. Two years ago Snoke was barely a threat. You did it because-” It’s rage that fuels her, “of power. Because of control. You have everything you could ever want - I’ve ever wanted - but it’s not enough, is it? Your ego’s finally eclipsed everything good about you and now you want to make everyone do whatever you think, whatever you want. Working for Snoke’s just a means to get that.” Rey doesn’t wait to see the effect her words have on Ben, she starts fighting against the rope, so angry she doesn’t care if she shreds her skin, she has to get free so she can kill him. 

“Rey stop! Stop it!” But she’s past the point of listening. Suddenly her hands are free, and it’s clear he’s cut her bindings, but Rey doesn’t think of why. She’s already reaching for the knife he used while trying to tackle him. 

In her rage Rey’s ignored several important points about her situation; one is the fact that Ben’s had two years to imagine this encounter, another is his significant strength and size, and the final issue is that someone in her weight category should never start a wrestling match with someone in Ben’s. 

It takes a handful of heartbeats for Ben to knock the knife away from her grasp, and only a few more to turn her tackle into a roll so that he lands on top. 

Ben sinks down on top of Rey, using his weight to keep her in place, hands on her wrists to stop her from scratching him, gentle yet immovable. He’s looking down at her, but Rey won’t return the favor, she’s spitting mad, chest heaving. 

He lets her writhe but doesn’t give her enough room to breathe deeply, waiting for her to tire herself out. He also knows from experience that talking grounds Rey, and so he gives a running commentary on the books he sees spilled around them - her latest library haul - which is so hopelessly Ben Rey starts crying.

“Rey, will you let me explain myself?” Ben asks, once she stops flailing against him, “I can’t get it all out when you keep interrupting me.” His voice is so gentle, and she’s heard it so many times; when she hadn’t eaten a full meal in days and he offered her half his sandwich, when he started reading over her shoulder when he realized she didn’t know how to read complex letter combinations, the first time she touched him; he spoke like they were the only people in the world. 

“Fuck you.” 

“Maybe when you stop crying.”

“Ben.” Rey puffs out, blushing despite herself, trying to hold onto her anger. But Ben’s grinning at her, pleased she’s embarrassed. It’s the same grin she’s seen all her life, the one he only seems to share around her, if Luke’s to be trusted. Rey feels such a surge of affection for him, it’s just muscle memory at this point; Ben smiles, Rey feels it all over.

Of course he ruins it by talking.

“My mother spent twenty years in government offices trying and failing to create what Vader had already built with his Empire, and my uncle burned down. I’ve seen what the system does, it’s slow, and ineffectual, and it left you with Unkar. Democracy doesn’t care about people, it just cares about who has money to buy their votes.” Seeing the look in her eyes he amends, “Snoke isn’t much better, only there’s one of him, and one day they’ll just be me. I can actually help people, I can provide real order, real safety, I can keep you safe.” 

The worst part of this speech is that Rey can see where Ben’s coming from. He’s made similar arguments before, especially after particular legal classes, and she’s even spoken to Luke about what the neighborhood used to be like, when there was only one crime syndicate, instead of the multitude she grew up with, competing with each other. 

Even with that Rey can’t understand why Ben thinks a more powerful crime enterprise is better than fighting against it. 

“What about the resistance?” Rey hesitantly asks, because even though Unkar’s griped about them, she’s not entirely sure they’re real. Ben rears back like he’s been burned, and cold air rushes through the gap between them. Rey uses the distance to sit up, freeing her legs from him. 

“They’re worse than Snoke, they preach for peace, but sow chaos. They-” Ben stops abruptly, and doesn’t continue from there, his eyes staring into the distance. 

“Ben is this..” Rey doesn’t want to ask this question, but she can’t stop herself, this whole night has been leading to this; “Is this truly the path you want to walk? Are you committed to it?” Ben focuses back on her, and his gaze is so warm. He reaches up and tucks her hair behind her ear, Rey leans into his touch. 

“Yes.” Rey startles, but Ben’s hand follows her cheek, he’s expected this too, apparently. “I can’t stop now.” 

“I won’t join you.” Rey says, her tone emphatic, as much to remind herself as to tell him. 

For once Ben doesn’t look angry that she’s disagreed with him, he looks pained. His fingers brush her cheek, feather light, as if he’s already gone, and Rey fights against the urge to recant, to beg him to change his mind, to be with her. 

“I know. It’s why I didn’t tell you.”


	3. 3

Rey didn’t sleep a wink last night, but it doesn’t matter because when she slides into Luke’s booth she steals the cup out of his hand, draining his morning cup of joe. 

“Rey what are you-” Luke’s voice cuts off when he catches her eye - they’re red rimmed and puffy, but more than that they’re haunted. Luke signals for another cup and he reaches out to pat Rey’s hand, hesitating long enough for Rey to assume he's remembered she hates to be touched, but really Luke paused because he sees the wounds on her wrists. Her skin is torn, an angry red, unmistakably from rope from anyone who’s had experience with injuries.

It’s always better to be nonchalant about her injuries about Luke, but Rey feels undone, and she pushes down her sleeves to hide the wounds. When she looks back up she sees rage in Luke’s face, his body tense. He reminds her of Ben. 

“Who did this to you?”

It’s a long moment before Rey speaks. “Your nephew.” And then because she’s can’t not defend him, “It wasn’t his fault; I was just so angry. I tried to free myself even though I knew he tied them too tightly. He cut me free before any real damage was done.” 

It’s almost worth what happened, the way Luke reacts. He looks shocked, then horrified, landing on acute embarrassment. His gaze jumps around, before settling back on her eyes, and realization sets in; he looks weary, as though he's the one who was up all night. 

“He told you.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rey asks, which is the question that’s been haunting her since five this morning, when sleep was a distant cause. 

“It was his information to share.” Luke offers. Rey looks at him in bewilderment. 

“You were afraid I’d go with him and work for Snoke.” She counters, watching his face for confirmation, she spots it easily. 

“I’ve been a foolish old man.” Rey’s hair is down, which is a rarity, but she feels the compulsion to run her fingers through it, and she satisfies that feeling now, as she looks at Luke who eyes her with such compassion. “You’re very strong not to follow after him.” Rey doesn’t want that. 

“It wouldn’t make sense, my parents will be looking for me with Unkar, not Snoke.” 

A different waitress from last time comes with a pot of coffee, pouring Luke another cup while setting one down for Rey. Luke pushes his plate towards Rey, a subtle gesture that means he’s offering her his breakfast. For reasons Rey doesn’t peer too closely at she never accepts Luke’s offers to buy her food, but will accept sharing. 

“Did Ben ever tell you why he came to study with me?” Luke asks. This Rey knows. 

“He had issues controlling his anger.” 

“He nearly killed a boy.” Rey looks up. This she hadn’t heard. 

“They were seven years old. Ben has always felt things so strongly. Apparently some child had stolen a toy when it was Ben’s turn. He didn’t realize how dangerous his actions were until it was nearly too late. He’s always been bigger and stronger than anyone his age. Leia asked that I begin teaching Ben; she wanted him to learn control over his actions. For awhile we all believed it was to Ben’s credit, especially watching your relationship flourish. But after everything that’s happened, I believe I spent too much time focusing on controlling Ben's actions, and not enough time on understanding why Ben’s first response is violence.” Rey’s silent for awhile, drinking coffee and thinking.

“Ben said..” Rey’s voice starts out strong, but she loses strength, and has to swallow against an invisible lump before continuing, “He told me he was in love with me.” Luke doesn’t spit out coffee, but it’s a near thing. 

“What a conversation you two had.” He settles with.

“Do you think it’s true?” Rey bursts out, now that it’s out there she wants confirmation. 

“Do you think it’s true?” Luke asks, taking a bite of toast a little too nonchalantly for her tastes. 

“I don’t know.” Rey grits through her teeth, “That’s why I’m asking you.” Luke doesn’t say anything in response, and Rey feels a bit of compassion for Ben. If this is what it’s like to go for guidance to Luke no wonder they argue so often. 

“He sounded sincere.” Rey finally growls out, when it’s clear Luke is perfectly content sitting in silence, “But he also knew… when I told him I wouldn’t work for Snoke he knew already. So why would he choose to do something if the person he claims to be in love with would hate it?” 

At last Luke responds. 

“Ben has always been angry by any situation that doesn’t produce immediate results, and I think watching someone he ‘claims to’ love toil in a place where her talents aren’t recognized, where she has to earn what he considers basic necessities, where she feels she must wait for a family he feels has abandoned her, it could push him to want to fight within that system.” 

“So it’s my fault.”

“No Rey, of course not. Ben is the master of his own destiny. He’s always been far too engrossed by the turf wars that have besieged our territory. He’s always been prone to using violence to solve his problems, and he has never agreed with the philosophy of letting others find their own path.” Luke’s gaze is a bit too pointed, and it’s obvious he’s speaking about her.

Generally Rey has always been able to eat, hunger producing the best spices, but even though her last full meal was yesterday’s lunch Rey finds she can’t stomach the food in front of her, and she toys with it instead. She has one more piece of information to discuss with Luke,

“I asked Ben if he was committed to his path, to working for Snoke. He said yes.” Luke studies her for a moment. 

“There I think we might still have hope.” Rey looks up from the plate. “Ben didn’t reach out to Snoke.”

“He didn’t?” 

“Snoke has spent considerable time and resources seeking out Ben and swaying him to his side. He was only successful when Ben was isolated. I think, as Ben finds himself more entrenched in Snoke’s world, he’ll find it less palatable than he assumes he will. When that time comes he’ll... need lifelines he can call upon.” 

Rey doesn’t say anything, but she does take a bite and finds the meat’s easier to swallow. 

“You should meet Leia and Han.” Scratch that. Rey chokes and lunges for her coffee to swallow everything.

“Why?!”

“I think it’s time.” He responds cryptically. 

“Still,” Rey breathes, “Me meeting Ben’s parents without him?” 

“I suppose he could come if you’d like, though Ben isn’t on speaking terms to his parents, so I’m not sure how that would make it a less awkward situation.” 

“Ben and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms either.” Rey says, although she’s not sure. They’d spent an inordinate amount of time staring at each other on her bedroom floor after their argument. “Where would I meet them?” 

“Most likely their home. I’m sure they’ll want to feed you and ask about your relationship with Ben.” Now that idea is overwhelming. It shows on her face because Luke’s voice is gentle when he continues, “It’s your choice. I’ll be going tomorrow night. You can text to let me know what you decide.” 

Rey hasn’t decided whether she’s going to meet Ben’s parents or not, even though she asked Luke for the address and is now standing in the clearance section of Nimaii Outpost during her lunch period, searching for a dress that will: look nice, fit her, and cost next to nothing. Rego’s just left with a promise to hunt down a helpful coupon, and Rey hesitantly holds a cream dress to her frame. She’s never worn a dress before, but meeting the parents of your possible ex best friend, possible enemy, and quasi romantic partner feels more upscale than any jean/shirt combo she owns. 

She’s never owned a piece of clothing so light before, it would show the dirt and grease too easily, but Rey assumes she’ll only wear this once, and the clearance ticket boasts a promising number. 

Rey absentmindedly bumps into someone, muttering sorry, as she searches for a mirror or changing room so she can get this over with. She finds the changing rooms, and since Rego is away because of her she doesn’t attempt to find the attendant, instead she looks for an empty room and goes inside. 

Well she attempts to, because when she turns around to close the door Ben’s standing there, clearly put off. Rey dimly realizes she bumped into him, and he followed her, but most of her mind is focused on the fact that she didn’t notice him, not once, and some small part of her brain from thousands of years ago is set off and she opens her mouth to scream. 

She can tell this will be loud and embarrassing when Ben lurches forward, and two things happen in quick succession; the door shuts behind him with an audible click, and he rushes to cover her mouth with his hand, succeeding so well only a muffled noise is heard. 

Rey’s cheeks are red with embarrassment

Once it’s clear she doesn’t intend to keep going Ben removes his hand, thumb briefly lingering on her bottom lip. She.. does not hate that. 

“What are you doing here?” This time Ben speaks, since Rey can only stare at him. 

“None of your business.” She says, with no bite to her words. Ben does not look like he spent the past day and a half crying, unable to sleep as he imagines her tragically torn away from him, and so she hates him. 

“I was looking for you.” He continues, emboldened by her stare. 

“Good for you. Turn around.”

“What?” 

“I need to try this on and I only have twenty minutes left for lunch. Either get out or turn around.” He gives her a blank stare, like her words are in a foreign language, so Rey pushes his shoulder until he finally turns around. Once that’s successful Rey drops her backpack, hangs up the dress, and starts toeing off her boots. 

“Why do you need a dress?” 

“Also none of your business.” 

“Rey.” Ben starts, “Have you thought about what I’ve said?” 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about anything you said.”

“No. I mean, my feelings for you.” Rey stops moving, dress halfway over her head. Then she purposefully resumes her movements. 

“I’m sure it’ll be very uncomfortable for you when you torture me for Snoke’s approval.” Ben spins around, but Rey’s finished pulling down the dress. 

“Rey, I would never do that.” Four days ago Rey would have agreed with him. Now though -  
she merely turns. 

“Will you zip me?” She asks. 

Instead of answering Ben takes a few steps forward. One hand finds her hip, and Rey opens her mouth to yell at him when it trails to the bottom of the zipper. His other hand comes to rest on the closure, and Rey closes her eyes for the briefest of moments. They snap open when his hand moves, tugging up the zipper. His progress is agonizingly slow, and he seems intent on trailing his finger on her skin. She sees him through the mirror, his smile growing each time he makes her shiver. She’s uncomfortably reminded of the last time they were this close, Ben’s frame on top of her. 

“Don’t be afraid,” He speaks into her hair, “I feel it too.” Rey wants to elbow him, but even that would be revealing too much, so she ignores him to stare at herself in a dress. 

It’s weird to see herself like this. 

The fabric isn’t itchy at least, but the sleeves are short, and it clings tightly to her chest, only flaring out once it’s past her waist. At least the thing ends at the top of her knees. If Rey were alone she’d try out a few fighting forms to make sure it doesn’t restrict her movements but Ben is right behind her, not touching her anymore, and somehow that’s worse. 

“What do you think of it?” She asks instead. 

“You look resplendent.” It was a word he’s used on her for many occasions, but the first time was because she didn’t know what it meant. She’d memorized the explanation in the dictionary, mouthing it whenever work was particularly odious. It used to make her blush when he’d say it, now she smiles sadly. 

“Why do you need a dress?” He asks again, impatient. Rey turns around to face him, pushing him back slightly - not because she doesn’t want his nearness, she wants to catch every minute detail of his face.

“I’m going to dinner tonight,” She begins, savoring the moment, “with your parents.” After the other night, when Ben had truly and horribly shocked her, Rey feels turnabout is fair play. Ben’s eyes widen, his fingers tighten into fists, he seems to have forgotten to take a breath, and his eyes roam her face, checking to see if she’s joking. 

“Why?” He chokes out after several beats. In every way Rey should feel fear to be trapped in a room with him like this but Rey’s perversely delighted to have surprised him so thoroughly. 

“Luke invited me.” Rey offers, letting the implication take over. 

This is too much for Ben and he looks around frantically, as though he doesn’t want to be near her, and the delight leaves Rey’s body immediately, filling with dread instead. “Ben?” She asks hesitantly. 

He stumbles to the only place one could sit in the changing room, squashing the clothes she discarded moments earlier. He sits heavily, breathing erratically, fingers tangled in his hair. Rey doesn’t know how to process this. 

“Ben?” She repeats. He doesn’t look at her, or seem like he’s aware she’s spoken; Rey grows desperate. She kneels in front of him, body filling the space between his legs, and hesitantly reaches up, hands trapping his face so he’s forced to look at her. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” She asks, voice spilling with fear. His eyes rove over her, and his hands cover hers, anchoring her in place. He opens his mouth, but apparently it’s too much, whatever he’s thinking, because he shakes his head, unwilling to explain. Rey’s seen him like this twice before, but both times Luke had been there to comfort him. 

Rey spends most of her life constantly reassessing the world around her, weighing various options to choose the one that makes the most sense to her continued survival, but the way she responds now is instinctual; she reaches up, tugging Ben’s face closer, and kisses him. 

Technically this is their second kiss but in every way it feels like the first. Rey’s a bundle of nerves as she slides her lips across his, holding her breath and then releasing it erratically. She takes a moment to luxuriate in the feel of his soft lips (even though they're inert) before she begins moving, kissing the corner of his mouth, moving from one mole to the next, trying to reach the bridge of his nose. Rey is intent on centering Ben to this moment, to let him know she's with him, he isn't alone. 

It feels like a victory when his hands slide from hers (barely stinging her wrists when they touch her wounds from the other night) and he ghosts across her shoulders, pulling her so much closer, pressing his face into her neck, breathing her in. Rey lets him, hands circling his frame until her hands smooth out the muscles in his back, willing him to calm. She’s balanced on her tiptoes, and it’s not exactly a comfortable position, but Rey doesn’t try to move or say anything, she just holds Ben. 

Once Ben’s breathing has returned to normal and he’s stopped shaking Rey lowers herself back onto her knees, hands coming to rest right above his elbows. Ben looks at her like she really is blinding light.

"Don't go." He says, voice rough. 

"I'm right here." Rey promises, shifting slightly, muscles sore from her previous position. 

"Don't go to dinner with my family." He amends, and Rey feels the sting of his words like a slap. She finds she has to breathe before she can speak.

"How can you say you love me and ask me not to meet your parents?" Rey asks shakily. Ben doesn't answer, but he clutches her more tightly. 

"They'll ruin this." He finally explains when she doesn't speak; and Rey has to hand it to Luke, pregnant silences can produce explanations. 

"Why?" She asks, and then because it's obvious to her, "They won't approve of me." 

"Rey no! They'll turn you away from me." Rey studies his face, and he truly believes his parents would do that. She drops her hands to his knees and uses them for leverage to stand.

"Ben, not even you could do that, what hope do your parents have?" She finally says, looking away. Her words are hard so he won’t dig into the truth of her statement. "Now get up and turn around, I need to change back." 

She listens to him exhale, ignores the hand that reaches out to touch her, hears the tell tale rustling that means he's up and moving. She double checks to make sure his back is to her and then quickly unzips the dress, shucking it off and diving for her clothes. She’s tying her shoes when he speaks. 

"What time will you be going?" 

"It starts at 7:30, but I think the bus takes awhile, so I'll probably leave around 6:30."

"Luke isn't driving you?" Rey pauses to consider it.

"Oh, we didn't discuss it."

"Of course not." Rey turns to look at Ben but he doesn't expound. Rey taps him on the shoulder, and when he turns around, she studies his face; he looks like he's in pain. 

Well good. So is she. 

"Ready for everyone to think we were having sex in here?" She asks, Ben's eyebrow raises.

"Could we have been doing that?" And she doesn’t laugh, but her lips quirk into a smile as she opens the door.


	4. 4

Rey is not late, but she will be if she misses the next bus. Unkar had dropped two more parts on her workbench, ignoring her protests and watching her like a hawk until she’d fixed and cleaned them. Of course they were filthy, so Rey had to use the employee showers near the back, already knowing she wouldn’t have enough time to make it to her room upstairs. 

Technically the showers were gender segregated, but the lock was old and could easily break with a well placed kick, so Rey takes one of the faster showers of her life, zipping up her dress only three minutes after shucking off her overalls. She’s not even attempting to don her traditional three buns, instead letting her hair air dry as she throws on an overlarge sweater and scarf. She should be wearing her coat, and she growls out Unkar’s name as she throws on her backpack and heads off to the bus stop. He’d promised her a new one for her work last week, but has conveniently added in new costs now that it’s time to pay. 

In her quick pace Rey’s mentally tallying how many more machines it’ll take to put together before she can afford the garment, weighing the wearability of the one she has at home. Technically it’s still usable, the downy material still provides warmth, but there is a poorly concealed hole near her right armpit, and Rey’s too proud to look as poor as she is. 

Rey huddles in the bus shelter, her hands tucked into the sleeves and arms wrapped around her middle, annoyed by the drip of water slowly making its way down her neck. A horn honks, and Rey comes to the curb, realizing as she does it why she’s having such a Pavlovian response; it’s Ben’s car. She tells herself not to, but she comes to the passenger door, bending to catch his eye. She’d just seen him barely six hours ago, but he seems different to her, more distant. He doesn’t roll down the window but it’s clear what he mouths to her. 

“Get in.” Rey shakes her head no. 

Now he unrolls the window. 

“Rey, get in.” 

“Ben, I told your parents I’d go to dinner, I’m not changing my mind.” Ben takes a hand off the wheel and rubs his face with it. 

“I know, I’m driving you there.” 

“What?!” Rey nearly screeches, standing upright in disbelief, as though checking to make sure she’s still in the word she expects to be inhabiting. When everything looks the same, and the force of the wind tears through her sweater, no longer blocked by a car, Rey ducks back down. Ben’s eyes look a bit glazed, but they find hers soon enough. “No you’re not.” Rey continues. 

Ben shrugs, which is so unlike him Rey’s eyes follow the movement through his body, and she misses the way his gaze stays on her face. 

“Are you coming?” He asks, ignoring her disbelief. Self preservation wars within her, a new voice telling her to go back to the bus shelter, to limit all time with this new version of Ben who is too similar to the one she knows to give her any peace of mind. The older, baser part tells her to accept a warm ride and save bus fare. 

Rey grabs the door handle before she’s realized that she decided to accept, and she can’t very well give ground once it’s been taken, so she smoothly slides into the seat, removing her backpack and finding the seat belt. The moment the seat belt clicks Ben takes off, as if he’s worried she’ll change her mind. Her hands move of its own accord to the heat vents, and she sighs slightly, even after everything Rey equates safety to warmth. 

Ben’s not saying anything next to her, but it’s obvious he has quite a few things he wants to say. Rey doesn’t want to hear a word of it, her stomach tied up in knots. 

“Where’s your coat?” 

“I’m getting a new one.” Rey says, determined to be in a good mood. 

“So where is it?” 

“Probably at the store, where most goods are before you buy them.” 

“So you don’t have one.” 

“Ben, I will watch whatever extended version science fiction fantasy holovid of your choice if you’ll shut up for the rest of this ride.” 

“The Lord of the Rings trilogy.” He swiftly counters. 

“Fine.” Rey agrees, too readily. Ben looks at her in surprise because the last time they brought it up she’d patently refused to ever look at it again, but Rey ignores his gaze, hunting for the button that’ll connect her phone to his car speakers. She’s about to open the one classical playlist she has, but then pauses, remembering Ben isn’t allowed to speak, and switches to pop music instead. 

Ben will kill her the moment the car’s no longer in motion, but for the moment Rey’s happy to pretend everything between them is normal. 

One very loud, very speedy ride later Rey finds herself in front of a gate, with long green fields that end with a manor home

“You grew up here?” Bursts out of Rey. Ben doesn’t respond, waving a pass over a sensor, and the gates open. “Gods, Ben.” 

Rey has always known that Ben had money, but Rey had mostly assumed the gap between them is because Unkar never spent money on her if he could get away with it, not that Ben’s wealth is far beyond the scope of the norm. 

With reflection though, it’s obvious. Ben went to private school. Ben’s clothes have always looked like they came from the stores she’s glimpsed from her view on the sidewalk while salespeople watch her to make sure she doesn’t try to go inside. Whenever Ben brought her food it was always with the freshest of ingredients she’d only heard of, never interacting with in her daily life.

Clearly Rey’s thought process is plastered over her face, because the first thing Ben says when the car rolls to a stop outside of a six car garage isn’t a tirade against her music choices, but, 

“Rey it’s not my money. It’s my parents.” 

“Right.” She agrees. But she looks at her hands. Rey has spent their entire relationship knowing that Ben is far outside of her league, but being shown it so blatantly is still unsettling. Grabbing the door handle and the strap of her backpack, Rey forces herself to move on. It shouldn’t matter what league Ben’s in, he chose Snoke. “Thanks for the ride.” 

“I’m coming in with you.” He says softly. Rey turns back to him.

“What? Why?” He rolls his eyes, as though it’s obvious, and then reaches into the back of the car, setting a huge bouquet of flowers on her lap. 

“Give those to Leia.” Rey feels dazed as she gets out of the car, slinging her backpack on a shoulder as she studies the bouquet. They’re gorgeous, a mix of different colors and types. Rey’s offhandedly aware that different flowers are supposed to hold different meanings, but she doesn’t even know what she’s holding, much less their intent. 

Still, they smell heavenly. 

Ben ignores the garage (And a classic Millennium Falcon she can see through the large window hello!), taking her on a circuitous route to a magnificent front porch. Rey’s hand trails over the white fence as she walks up the steps, and Ben’s waiting by the front door. Or, doors. Rey realizes with surprise. There are two of them. And they are massive. 

Seeing as how Ben hasn’t made any effort to alert the people inside, Rey uses the door knocker, the first time she’s ever seen one outside of cinema. Rey turns to Ben, and nearly spins as she realizes he’s slunk off to the side. Even though she expected to spend this evening without Ben, the thought of him leaving her fills her with panic, and she reaches back to grab his hand. Ben gives a quick, pained half-smile, and Rey pulls on his hand so that they’re side by side.

“We’re in this together.” Rey says, turning forward, anchoring them together with her firm grasp and soft words. Ben’s smile softens from pained to genuine, and he gazes down at Rey with free affection. 

This is the vision Leia’s graced with when she opens the door. 

Luke was right, dinner is awkward as hell. 

Well, not all of it. 

Leia is stately, and charming, and she asks questions about Rey’s life with the decorum of someone who knows the answers already, so Rey doesn’t need to lie. 

Han, he’s so cool, for lack of a better word. He jokes with her about working for Plutt, in a way Luke and Ben never have (and Leia looks horrified by), and quietly places more bread rolls on her plate with a wink. 

Luke- well his eyebrows raise into his hairline when he spots Ben, but he doesn’t say anything beyond a very loaded, “Well”, and he seems content discussing the old golden days with Leia and Han. It makes Rey feel carefree, which she hadn’t expected, and so happy to be sitting at a table where there’s familial affection and warm, hearty food she can eat as much as she likes. 

Except it was also very uncomfortable. Leia had grabbed her hands instead of the flowers she’d proffered, asking in concern what happened to her wrists. Rey, who hadn’t experienced motherly concern in so long she’d forgotten about it, stammered about hazards of the job. She could feel Ben tense behind her, but Leia accepted her comments without question, insisting on patching up her wrists and ignoring Rey’s half-hearted attempts to explain she’d done that already. 

But even that could be considered a blip on the radar, it’s Ben who’s making everything so terrible. He hasn’t said a word, ignoring every question or comment that’s directed at him. Even when she speaks; he just glowers at her, as though she’s the one who tied him up the day before and destroyed his world view. And he keeps crowding her like he expects a bomb to go off, ignoring her attempts to put space between them. Rey idly wonders what Snoke did to him to make him so afraid to be around his parents, and so she doesn’t push him away to get the personal space she readily desires. 

Even when they’re sitting on padded benches around a kitchen table (so named because they must have more than one!) Ben’s sitting far too close, earning another look from Luke and comment from Han about giving Rey space to eat. Ben didn’t respond, but if looks could kill Han would assuredly be deceased. 

All she can think to do to distract from Ben’s biting look is to ask inane questions, and as the night goes on she has to dig deeper for a topic change. Now she queries Luke about whether he’s related to Leia or Han, which helps the mood of the dinner somewhat. Rey turns to look at Ben, but he won’t catch her gaze. Rey can’t understand why Ben refuses to engage with her, yet is sticking to her like glue. 

Finally they’re on dessert, which is three different dishes that Rey keeps going back to. She’s biting back moans, deciding this cake is divine, when she hears the conversation shift to cars. They’re discussing the Millennium Falcon, and Rey perks up. She has a story about one, which she never gets to tell because her behavior hadn’t exactly been legal. 

“You stole one?” Han sounds impressed. “How old were you?”

“Oh ten I think.” Rey responds, licking her fork for any remaining crumbs. “There was this rival gang back then, The Ducain brothers? Anyway they’d gone and crossed Unkar, so he sent me and a few others to mess up their place, and I saw a Millennium Falcon. I heard they stopped making them, but this one looked pretty pristine, considering the circumstances, so I decided to liberate it from the Ducain’s.”

“Did you know how to drive?” Leia asks, she sounds curious, not reproachful like Rey would have thought. 

“Well…” Rey begins, “I knew the mechanics of it, I’d been working on cars for years by then, and I figured it couldn’t be that hard to figure out. But I relied a bit too heavily on car chases I’d seen on films, and I figured to get it started I’d have to really step on the gas pedal.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear the rest of this.” Luke intones, but he's smiling, so Rey continues. 

“Oh I got the car out of their driveway and through the gate easily enough, but I hadn’t moved the stick from whoever had used it last, and it was set to reverse. I basically created a hole in the garage.” Han howls, and Luke chuckles, Leia seems the least amused, her head shaking but still smiling, “I busted the car up so badly we had to scrap it for parts.” Rey looks around the table, she’d only told that story once before, and this was a much better reaction. 

“Plutt dislocated your shoulder and didn’t feed you for a month.” Ben says, speaking for the first time since he’d walked through the front door. The humor in the room falls like a lead balloon. 

“Is that true?” Luke asks. 

“Well it was a working Millennium Falcon, and I wrecked it.” Rey nonchalantly explains, “Ben, can I talk to you in the other room?” And then without waiting for his response she gets up, noting how the right side of her body feels cool without his body heat. 

Rey hears a cool “Excuse us.” but she’s already turning around a corner. Rey had meant to keep going, to make sure no one could hear them, but she stopped short at the first room she came to. She’s in a library, with a fireplace large enough to fit that kitchen table, and shelves upon shelves of books. She turns in a small circle, and notes a huge piano, all black. 

“Maker.” Rey exhales.

“Actually it’s just Ben.” Rey rolls her eyes at him, turning around. She expects him to relax a bit, now that it’s just the two of them, but he stalks towards her like he’s in pain, body tense and so angry. It incites her ire; what exactly does he have to be so furious about, when he grew up in a home like this? When he still has so much family around him?

“Well ‘just Ben’ what was that about? Luke’s going to be unbearable now.”

“Did I ruin your bonding moment with my family?” Ben asks, crossing his arms. Rey feels a fury rise up in her so strongly she begins counting in her head, determined not to lose her temper entirely. In the silence Ben continues, “Are you finally shopping around for a new set?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asks. But she knows. 

“They’re very charming with you, I can see why you’re so hoodwinked.” 

“Or!” Rey yells, giving up the pretense of not being overheard, of holding onto her temper, “I want to make a good first impression with your parents, because they’re your parents!” Any other day Rey would soften at Ben’s look, how he uncrosses his arms and takes a step towards her, hand outreached to offer a silent apology; but Rey is tired.

She takes a step back, his hand falling without purchase. 

“You are unbelievable!” She shouts. “Do you think because you’re my only friend you can be as cruel as you want and I’ll just take it?” He opens his mouth and Rey cuts him off, “No! I don’t want to hear it! Maker Ben, you - “ And Rey can’t stop, every unkind, uncharitable thought rising in her, “you act like your parents are these villains and we’re the same because we’ve both been abandoned but they haven’t abandoned you! So they didn’t know how to deal with your temper and kept sending you to Luke, who also loves you! So your mom was too busy to come to your piano recitals and your dad tried too hard to be your friend instead of your father. They’re still here, and even when you spend the whole night glaring at them - not speaking - they’re still trying. I mean, do you see the way Leia keeps looking at you? I would do anything to see my mother look at me like that.”

“So you’re jealous.” Yes. And that’s the real truth Rey doesn’t want to acknowledge.

“This isn’t about me.” 

“Isn’t it? You’re furious with me because I’ve outgrown familial relationships. And you’ll never stop looking for yours in any adult you come across. It’s your greatest weakness.” Rey looks around, and she realizes with a start that she’s looking for her staff. She wants to hit him, to hurt him as badly as he keeps hurting her. 

“I’m pretty sure my greatest weakness is you.” Rey's voice is icy, she had hoped to strike a killing blow with that comment, or at the very least jar him, but he looks relieved. 

“So you admit it, then.” He says, and he’s crowding her again. Rey has to tilt her neck just to maintain eye contact. 

“Admit what?” But she knows what. Her body is humming, urging her to step back, urging her to press forward. 

“Rey, come live with me.” Rey opens her mouth, but no words come out, and Ben already continues like he knew she wouldn’t respond, “You don’t have to work for Snoke, I can protect you from him. And you won’t have to work for Plutt either. You won’t have to work at all, you can focus on graduating, and applying to colleges. I would take care of you. You’d have a real kitchen.” His tone turns playful, “I’ll teach you how to cook.” Rey’s never felt like this, stretched thin and buoyant and swayed by the picture he’s painting for her. Ben’s hands come to rest at her elbows, and he anchors her. For just a moment Rey imagines how easy it would be to accept his offer. 

“But who will protect you from him?” She says, her tone is far too dreamy for her tastes, but it’s effective enough, Ben’s hands stop their ascent. 

“I don’t need-”

“I’ve heard the stories of what happens when his own people displease them. You’re angry that Unkar dislocated my shoulder; what would Snoke have done?”

“It doesn’t matter, he’ll never touch you. And soon I will be in charge-” Rey had known the moment she woke up with tied wrists that Ben had no intention of changing his mind, but Rey has to try. 

“No one has to be in charge. Ben, you’ve spent two years with Snoke, you could take him down! Your family would help you! You could actually make a difference the right way.” Ben turns away, Rey hadn’t realized until just that moment how open Ben had been. Rey grabs his shoulders, desperate, “Ben, you could finish your degree and write policy! Or take the bar and put actual criminals behind bars. What you’re doing isn’t the way to fix this problem. It’s just creating a new one.”

“Two hours in this house and it’s already gotten to you.” Rey doesn’t know how to respond. Rey thinks about telling him, then. But it feels manipulative, and so she lets her hands fall from his shoulders, watches him walk out the room, listens to him ignore his family as he slams the front door. 

Rey lifts the hem of her dress and uses the lining to wipe her face roughly. It shouldn’t matter that he hadn’t looked back, but it does. 

Rey walks into a kitchen where three adults are drinking tea, an incongruous open whiskey bottle beside the kettle. It is painfully quiet. 

“So,” Rey asks, shifting a bit on her feet, “Did you hear all of that?” 

In response Luke pushes a plate, with a very large piece of cake, across the table until it rests right in front of her. Rey eyes it for a moment before settling down. She reaches for her fork, and Leia’s hand covers hers, squeezing gently and then letting go. Rey hates it when strangers touch her, but Leia’s actions are comforting in a way she hadn’t expected. Han clears his throat, and Rey steels herself for whatever he’s about to say. 

“So I promised them I wouldn’t ask, but did Ben give you those?” Han asks, gesturing to her wrists. 

“Oh. Kind of.” Rey admits, sinking her fork into the cake. 

“And was it - a sex thing?” Rey laughs so hard, so caught off guard by the line of his questioning, she doesn’t hear Leia admonish him, but Luke’s indignant, she’s underage Han is loud and clear. It’s something she’s heard from Luke on countless occasions, usually around Ben, and Rey grounds herself in the normalcy of it as the laughter falls away,


	5. 5

Rey is getting really fucking tired of checking her phone for messages that don’t come. 

Of course, she could message him first, but Rey always messages Ben first. She always smooths things over when he’s being impossible or she’s been rude, and Rey is even more tired of that. 

They haven’t really spoken since that ill fated dinner with his parents, but she’s seen him twice. Both times he’s worn that haunting mask, and he’s refused to engage with her until she’s beaten all his people. He never uses his weapon - a lightsaber - instead picking up a weapon from his fallen comrades, when it’s obvious she means to attack him. He acts almost kindly, giving no offense until she catches her breath. He also ignores her taunts, even when she can see she’s gotten under his skin. The only time he deigns to speak is when he corrects her forms. 

It is aggravating. 

The only consolation Rey has is that both times they’ve come to a draw, ending their skirmishes when his people find them. Ben might be more technically proficient, but Rey’s life has sculpted her into a survivor, and her grit keeps her in league with him, matching him strike for strike. 

A part of her wonders what she’s doing, if she keeps going after him to see if he really won’t hurt her when push comes to shove, but she ignores that voice. She’s fighting Ben because he keeps attacking her, because her lot is with Unkar until her parents come back, and he’s chosen Snoke. 

But right now Rey isn’t thinking about Ben (not really), she’s watching Luke poor over her recent Core History test score as though he’s grading it. Rey tries to look through the books on the shelves in his office, but it’s difficult. Luke had promised her he’d start teaching her lightsaber forms if she did well enough on midterms, and he’s being agonizingly slow in his perusal of her tests and papers. 

Finally Rey gives up on pretending to look at Luke’s books, and falls into the chair across from his desk. Luke looks up at the noise Rey makes, and Rey raises her eyebrows, the well? all but written on her face. In response Luke leans down, disappearing from her view. When he’s sitting upright again he’s holding a wooden box. He places it in front of her, handle facing. 

“I asked Maz to get this out of storage a few weeks back.” Rey’s been staring at the box the whole time, but she looks up in surprise, that was when they’d made the deal, before midterms had begun. Rey smiles at Luke, who looks fondly back at her. 

Rey hesitantly reaches out and then opens the box, nestled in velvet is a lightsaber hilt. She reaches out, and when Luke doesn’t stop her she grabs a hold of the weapon. It’s an object of destruction, but also life, and Rey can feel energy pulsing in her hand, even though the weapon’s turned off. 

“It was once mine, and before that it was my father’s. It was supposed to go to… well, it’s in good hands with you.” Luke says, his voice hushed. Then he clears his throat and speaks with less emotion, “Most of the forms you know with your staff can be adapted with little trouble, but I don’t want you practicing without me, this isn’t a toy..” Luke continues on, giving practical advice and admonishment in equal measure. Rey listens intently, mind and body focused for the first time in months. 

Rey falls to the ground with a loud oomph. The blue mats muffle her fall somewhat, but Rey rubs her tailbone as she gets back up. 

“Again.” Luke calls out, relentlessly, “And you know better than to fall like that.”. Rey climbs back on the balance beam, thumbing the activator on the lightsaber as she takes Form I. Luke’s rigged up some machine that pelts her with discs, with the intent that she’ll knock them away from her, while maintaining balance on the beam she’s on. The discs speed out of the machine fast enough to bruise, but Rey’s pretty sure the mat will give her more before this is over.

She doesn’t bother to explain that she’s still learning how to turn off the lightsaber and fall correctly without skewering herself, she knows what Luke will say. Luke seems intent on concocting new training systems, each more harebrained and insane than the last. At first Rey had demanded answers before she’d agreed to participate, but after Luke reminded her Ben’s had two years to train with Snoke’s methods Rey doesn’t complain anymore, she just soldiers on. 

Rey’s blindfolded, on flat footing at least, with the lightsaber in both her hands. Luke’s been throwing things at her for hours, and her arms are shaking, blindfold soaked in her sweat. Luke’s offered to end training for the day, which means she must really look pathetic, but Rey ignores him. She feels so close to being able to do what Luke can, how he has an almost supernatural ability to recognize where the item’s coming from and defend himself. It’s only when she gets hit three times in a row that she accepts his offer to end for the night. 

Rey’s walking home from Luke’s, she has a Droidspeak test tomorrow, which she doesn’t need to study for, but Unkar’s expecting her to work late tonight to make up for her latest “after school study sessions” and all Rey wants to do is sleep. For about a week. Possibly longer.

Her feet drag as she fantasizes about her family waiting for her, finally coming to free her at last, but Rey’s exhausted and she keeps turning to Luke’s praise earlier, when she’d finally mastered a training session without falling off the beam.

Rey’s soaking in Luke’s tub with her clothes on. It’s an ice bath, and she hates it down to her very bones, right until her poor muscles relax, and the throbbing dulls to manageable levels. She curses Luke through the door, and doesn’t think about how she sounds like Ben. 

It feels like meditation, standing on the mat, eyes blindfolded and lightsaber in her right hand. Luke hasn’t thrown anything at her, but she can feel him moving around, his presence loud in the quiet of her mind. She can feel his decision to toss the disc at her before she hears him move, and it’s - easy - to raise the lightsaber and block the disc. She senses his regard, and then he’s moving faster than his age would assume, battering her with discs from all angles. It doesn’t matter though, Rey moves with the rustling air and blocks them all. 

When he's used up all the discs he’d been carrying (Rey counted) she lifts the blindfold, joy lighting up her features. Luke allows a moment to smile back, to lay a fatherly hand on her shoulder as he says, good job kid, and then a mischievous gleam twinkles in his eye as he tells her to get on the balance beam. 

Rey’s running through a path in the woods. It’s long, with multiple grades, and strategic places set up to test her skills. It’s a chilly day, but Rey’s already run through it twice, layers discarded through the path, and she’s gasping in her final lap, stumbling over her feet and her vision tunneling in a concerning way. Rey pushes through (she always pushes through) and comes to the beginning of the loop. She drops to the ground, ignoring her water in favor of unconstrained breathing. Time passes and Rey feels Luke’s shadow hover over her as she urges away the temptation to pass out. 

“I know.” Rey says, when it’s clear Luke’s disappointment won’t form words, “I shouldn’t have done that last loop.” She waits for Luke’s gentle admonishment, but that isn’t what she hears when he finally speaks. 

“Anyone could sneak up on you like this.” And it’s Ben’s voice she hears. Rey’s eyes slam open, and her eyes catch on his face, she hasn’t seen it in weeks and weeks, hidden behind his mask. He looks terrible, she notices with a pang. His skin is waxen, his hair looks lanky, his eyes are red rimmed, but it’s an energy he’s giving off, as though something is terribly wrong. Then she blinks, and he looks a bit better, his eyes more alive than they were before. 

Rey groans, struggling to her feet, but she feels woozy and can only manage a sitting position, her head between her knees. She feels Ben retrieve her water bottle, offering it as he looms overhead. Rey feels somewhat embarrassed to have Ben see her like this, and the feeling grows when she grabs the bottle only on her second attempt. She feels Ben hesitate as she tilts her head back to drink, and then he’s sitting in front of her, his gesture coping hers, knees raised.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard.” He’s so close Rey has an overwhelming urge to lean forward, to rest her head in his lap and feel his fingers comb her hair. They’ve never done that before, but she thinks it would be nice. Soothing. 

“I’ll take that under advisement.” Rey responds, reminding herself why she’s working so hard. She shakes the water bottle to release any last drops, and then tosses it to her side. “What are you doing here?” Rey asks, desperate to fill the silence between them. Her intention is to sound caustic, but it’s more curious than anything else. 

“I came here to think, actually.” She realizes, suddenly, that Ben must have trained here when he was one of Luke’s pupils. She wonders how much time he’s spent here. 

“Trying to puzzle out how to take over Unkar’s territory?” Rey asks, trying to distinguish the various shades of green around them so she doesn’t focus on him again. 

“You haven’t been responding to my messages.” Rey’s face snaps back to his. 

“You haven’t been sending me anything!” Ben raises an eyebrow and Rey is annoyed by the connotation. “You haven’t! I’ve checked -” It’s only because she’s staring so intently that she cuts off, realizes that he wants her to expose how she’s been furiously looking. Rey nearly growls in exasperation, for all Ben’s talk of Luke being manipulative. “You’re just like Luke.” Ben’s near smile disappears. “Just ask me if I miss you if you’re so curious.” 

“Do you miss me?” She had meant to refuse him when he asked, but Ben didn’t sound caustic or obtuse, he sounds longingly curious. She’s never been able to deny him when he sounds like that. 

“Of course I do.” Rey huffs out. It’s quiet between them, the strength of his longing and the truth of her words hanging between them. Ben reaches out a hand to her, a gesture so familiar, so intimately them, she doesn’t hesitate to place her hand on his. 

Since the night when Rey tried and failed to sway Ben, she’s made a promise with herself not to try again. That hasn’t stopped her from contemplating it, an exhausting narrative, endlessly arguing with an imaginary Ben who doesn’t change his mind. It’s telling that even in her fantasies she can’t convince him. And even though Rey is reminding herself of all of this now, that you can’t convince someone who doesn’t want to listen, holding Ben’s hand makes her want to try anyway. 

“Ben?” Rey begins, startling them both by speaking after their quiet solitude. But his eyes have flicked from her mouth to her eyes, and she has to keep going. “What would you do in my place?” A furrow forms in Ben’s brow and Rey sees she’s being obtuse. “If your - If you were me and I were you, what would you do to change my mind?” For all his confusion his response is quick. 

“Kidnap you, probably.” Rey is rarely flabbergasted, but this hits the mark. 

“Kidnap me? What? Why? How?” Ben drops her hand, and Rey only has a moment to regret the loss when he’s pulling her flush against him. It’s inelegant - she most certainly hadn’t been expecting it - with her knees pressed against each other, her feet trapped underneath his thigh, and her chest angled towards his. But wherever they touch she feels blessed warmth, and Rey realizes It’s been long enough since her running that she’s gone from overheated to chilled, her sweat drenched body shivering in the sunlight. Rey pulls back a bit, so only her shoulder is touching his chest, and angles her legs so they’re not touching his side anymore. 

Ben gives her a look, as if she’d been the strange one, and one hand settles on her arm, effectively trapping her against him, while the other rests on her knee, pulling her close. This is too much, especially in the wake of his annoying taunts about her fighting form in the past few weeks; he can’t just pretend they’ve had a normal spat, that’s he’s ignored for too long and he’s now making it up by showering her with affection. Rey opens her mouth, already forming a cutting remark, but her indignant response is beaten out by his thorough explanation. 

“Were I you, I’d assume you were brainwashed by Snoke’s influence, and want to remove you from the situation while simultaneously changing your mind. I’d stock up on provisions since I wouldn’t be able to let you out of my sight once I’d grabbed you, stick you in the secluded Organa winter cabin on Naboo so when you’d inevitably escape you’d have no place to run to, and keep you in enough discomfort that you’d equate any small mercies I gave you as larger acts of goodwill. Then I’d just wait until Stockholm syndrome sets in. Of course there’s the complication of your unwavering loyalty towards your parents and the sense of betrayal you’d feel that I removed you from the possibility of seeing them, but I assume if you’d already defected to Snoke you’d be past that.” Rey feels equal parts impressed and horrified with the thoroughness of his plan. 

“Do you think that would work?” Rey asks, staring at Ben’s shoulder and trying to imagine how she would go about kidnapping someone. She’s cut off from her musings when Ben’s hand trails up her arm, warming and confounding her both. 

“Probably. It’s been more difficult to read you since..” Ben trails off, but she knows what he’s referring to. Rey trails her gaze from his shoulder, across his neck, until she’s looking into his eyes. His pupils are blown wide.

“Would it work on you?” Rey presses, as though it were obvious she was referring to him. Ben says Oh without sound, but his hand doesn't stop its movement, so he must not be that surprised. 

“Possibly. But it would take months, and there are several more complications for you to iron out.”

“Like what?” 

“What would you do about school?”

“Finish it afterwards.” Rey readily replies. 

“Where would you keep me?” Rey smiles for the first time in more than a week, bumping her shoulder into him.

“Same place as you.” Ben returns her smile with one of his own, and Rey feels warm all over. 

“Money?” Rey considers this. Despite her constant work she’s never amassed anywhere close enough to keep two people fed and heated in a cabin for months on end. 

“I’d probably borrow it from Luke.” Ben’s surprised by her answer, his hand stilling on her. For a moment she thinks he’ll smile at her again, but as his eyes search her face, his good cheer disappears; whatever he sees angers him. 

“And leaving Unkar for months on end, knowing at any moment your family could return for you?” Ben asks, his tone is full of bitterness. Rey wishes he hadn’t spoken. He always does this to her, needles and pushes her until there’s nothing left for just herself. 

“I would do it.” Rey speaks, tone just as bitter. She feels the rest of the sentence on her tongue and decides to speak it, feeling reckless in her resentfulness. “Even if I knew they were coming back I would still go.” Rey takes Ben’s moment of utter stupefaction to get out of his lap, picking up her water bottle and heading into the direction of her discarded garments, for once grateful he doesn’t follow.


	6. 6

Rey’s working in Unkar’s shop, scrubbing at a particularly annoying compression unit, when the man himself comes in.

“Rey.” He barks, and Rey jumps a bit, because underneath that bluster he sounds anxious. “You’re to pick up a part for me, at the usual drop off point.” Rey looks at Unkar in annoyance, Duran was on pick up duty. 

“And what about this?” She gestures to her work bench, still covered with parts she has to clean and fix. Every day the pile seems to get bigger. Mocking her. 

“Someone else will cover it.” Unkar gruffs out, and Rey gives him a sharp look, Unkar is never one to let someone off easy. Rey considers Unkar’s just being less terrible than usual, noting how overworked she is, but that’s truly a foolish notion, so Rey takes the time to go upstairs, ignoring Unkar’s “Now Rey” to retrieve her lightsaber. 

Rey’s paranoia urges her to take a circuitous route, ending on the roof across from the street corner. It’s deserted, which is to be expected, with the dented garbage can tipped over, meaning the drop off’s been made. Rey watches the corner for twenty minutes, but nothing stirs her senses towards panic, and Rey knows that if she doesn’t retrieve the package then someone else will, and Unkar will not be happy if she loses whatever this is. 

Reminding herself that needless paranoia isn’t helpful if she can’t eat Rey uses the fire escape to drop down to the sidewalk. She’s righted the garbage can, hand fruitlessly searching for a brown papered package when a voice rings out.

"You can't possibly be this naive." The voice is mechanical, and Rey’s disheartened to realize she now equates this voice to Ben. Rey looks up slowly, expecting to see Ben in black, holding the package she’s come for, but his hands are empty. 

Realization dawns. 

“Unkar set me up.” Ben takes off his mask, something he’s never done in their many skirmishes. She wonders if he means to be kind or cruel by the action. 

“Plutt came to Snoke seeking a truce. With you off training with Luke, more of his scavengers have been attacked and business has taken a debilitating hit.” Rey preens at the compliment, “Snoke agreed on the condition that he oversees Plutt’s operations, and.. he wants to meet you.” Rey doesn’t like that compliment one bit.

Rey studies Ben. This is it, then. Exactly what he wanted. What he’d worked toward for years. All of the territory under one domain. Ben doesn’t look like he’d gotten his wish, he looks wretched. Rey won’t let herself be moved.

“And you’re going to hand me over.” Rey states, body unconsciously falling into Form IV even though her lightsaber’s tucked away in her backpack. The Ben she knew would have made the fight honorable, letting her gather her weapon and ready herself. Rey doesn’t know who she’s going to be fighting now, and she wishes she’d already taken out her weapon. 

“Rey, you won’t be hurt.” 

And Ben calls her naive. 

Rey’s response to Ben’s statement is immediate. She circles so the garbage can is between them, letting a strap fall so her bag swings around to her chest. Her eyes rove the area; she doesn’t see any of Snoke’s men but ignores that. If Ben intends to take her to Snoke they must be out of sight, watching to make sure nothing goes wrong. She knows Snoke usually sends out parties of four, but if he’s intent on seeing her then it’s probably double that. Any more and she’d spot them, no matter how cleverly they’re hiding. Rey idly wonders how she hasn’t sensed them already.

A plan forms in her mind as she reaches in for the lightsaber, hand bypassing clothes and books to find the hard metal. Once her hand closes on it she lets the other strap fall, her bag now by her feet. If this were anyone other than Ben she would have kept the bag on, but she’s always trained without the backpack - stupid - and the additional weight will throw her off. 

“Rey.” Ben huffs out, eyeing her movements with disdain. “We both know your portable staff is no match for my lightsaber.” As if to highlight this he unclasps the weapon, hand held at the ready, unlit yet thumb poised. 

Rey knows if their situations were reversed he’d make some quip right about now, clever and cutting in equal measure. But that’s not Rey’s style. She is a woman of action. 

Rey clicks on the igniter. A blue column of light hums to life. 

Rey’s never seen Ben look so angry. His mouth forms words she can’t hear. He’s shaking in rage, she isn’t sure if he’s aware he just ignited his weapon. She expects him to close the distance between them, but he hasn’t moved, glaring daggers at her. 

“That lightsaber belongs to me.” Rey raises it slightly, relaxing her fingers in her two handed hold. She hopes his rage will make him reckless, he’s still had years more of training than she has. The next words out of her mouth are more for his sake than hers. 

“Come get it.” 

Generally when Rey and Ben fight, even when the weapons change, their clashes feel familiar. Ben favors technical proficiency while Rey’s adaptive to her surroundings. Ben wins whenever fighting conditions are clinical, and Rey trumps him whenever they’re not. There is a symmetry to their movements, the push and pull of a battle well fought.

But at their first clash Rey loses her footing and has to back up. Nothing of this fight feels normal. Rey can feel Ben’s rage, and it's directed at her. She blocks his blows but her feet instinctively carry her away from the street corner, away from Ben. He means to take her down, to reclaim her lightsaber, to deliver her to Snoke. 

Rey can’t let him. 

She forces her feet to circle instead of back away, forces her blows to become offensive, rather than reactive. The next time their beams lock she holds the position, forces herself to face them. If this is all they can be then she won’t back away from it. 

“You’re still holding your breath.” Ben chides, and Rey notices with ire that he’s right. It’s a childish move she’s always fallen back to in the heat of the battle. Luke’s forever griping to her about it. 

“It’s because you stink.” Rey bites back, and while it’s true Ben’s sweating so profusely she can see droplets fall, it just smells like Ben. Her Ben. 

Ben sears her shoulder with the cross guard of his blade. Rey cries out, it hurts, but doesn’t lose hold of her position. She thinks Luke would be proud of her. 

Ben, however, acts like he’s injured himself, flinching and giving up the advantage. Rey presses it, and Ben nearly stumbles. 

Rey wishes she could test the range of motion in her arm with her wound, wondering if she should switch to her other hand. Ben’s eyes are fixated on her shoulder and she uses the distraction - her conscience twinging - to knock him to the ground. 

It doesn’t work, of course. For one her aim is off, the wound twinging painfully and redirecting her swing. For another Ben has always had a near supernatural power sensing where her limbs are at any given time when they fight, and he uses that to turn her blow, off balancing her. Rey nearly goes down, but she uses the momentum to somersault, ending upright and no more than two paces ahead of him. 

It’s a perfectly executed maneuver. Especially when considering the lit lightsaber in her hand. 

Rey feels an insane urge to look at Ben’s face, to see the admiration for a job well done. But Rey bottles up the feeling, reminding herself that if anything Ben’s annoyed she’s dragging this along. This isn’t a fight taking place at Luke’s studio, to teach Ben patience and Rey survival tactics. 

Their next clash is more aggressive, Rey using her anguish as energy. It’s never been that effective for her, Ben’s always used his emotions to power his moves, but her arm’s tiring quickly, and has never been above using whatever tools are nearby. She nearly gets the better of him, Ben having to swing his blade at a maddening speed to block her attacks, but his arms are longer, his reach greater than hers, and even with her anger they’re evenly matched - she has to switch hands. 

Rey growls. 

“Skywalker’s been a poor teacher.” Ben says, voice hard as he wipes the sweat from his brow. Rey ignores him. Reaching out to sense Snoke’s men. If only she knew where they were, then she could lead Ben off in the opposite direction. And then it comes to her suddenly. 

“We’re alone.” Ben looks at her. Saying nothing. “Snoke didn’t send anyone else. Just you.” Rey feels the lightsaber in her left hand, hears the discordant hum of his, watches Ben’s quick nod. “Why?” 

In response Ben attacks once again, his motions precise, his mood explosive. It seems like he’s stoking his anger, using it to be ruthless - and then his blade is ricocheting down, the hilt of his blade slamming against her left hand. Rey drops her lightsaber reflexively, only able to catch it with her right hand because Ben instinctively jumped back - clearly he hadn’t meant to do that maneuver. But that doesn’t make sense - the move was precise, well practiced. Obviously done with skill. 

Rey curses as she jumps back, desperate for space as she shakes her left hand and brings up the blade with her right. Her fingers feel broken, but when she spares a look for them they aren’t bent at the wrong angles, so they’re probably bruised or strained. Rey berates herself for analyzing Ben instead of just fighting the opponent in front of her. 

No more. 

Rey attacks with reckless abandon. Ben blocks her lunges, giving up ground without comment. It’s clear he assumes she’ll tire herself out, with one shoulder ruining her range of motion and her left hand still out of commission, but Rey has spent her life fighting with the odds stacked against her. 

She gets in a lucky strike, causing Ben to fall to his knees. She follows it up with a backhanded blow, thoughts on knocking him out and Ben - he leans into it. Rey watches as her swing goes from incapacitate to deadly, and she knows what will happen next - she’ll kill him. 

Rey wrenches her shoulder, crying out in pain as the angle and force of her blow is cut short. 

But not short enough. She watches in horror as the tip of her blade makes contact with his chest, travels up to meet his chin, caresses his cheek and finally departs from his flesh at his brow. 

Ben falls back, stunned. 

“Ben?!” Rey screams out, hitting the igniter so her blade extinguishes. She pulls his weapon out of his hand, turning it off and dropping it - desperate to get to his side. Ben turns to face her and Rey can see the skin of his wound peeled away, showing an ugly red. It’s not bleeding, but she can’t process why- it’s so deep. 

How could she have done this to him?

“Ben? Are you ok?” Stupid question. He says as much with the way he looks at her. She’s searching through his pockets while her mind catches up, “Where’s your phone? Oh Maker - Ben, I’m so sorry; I didn’t want this!” Her left hand closes on his phone, screaming at her in pain as she forces it to work despite its protests. She lifts the phone to her face, remembers she has to dial, and then brings it back up after the three numbers have been hit. 

Ben stares at her, not saying anything. His left hand comes up to rest on her cheek. It doesn’t have to travel very far, she’s bent so far over him. She listens to the beeping with agitation, and doesn’t wait for the person to finish their greeting. 

“There’s been an emergency, my friend’s badly hurt! We need an ambulance at..” Rey trails off, looking around for street signs. She’s made this drop off hundreds of times but she can’t remember the street address - Rey feels panic overwhelm her as her memory resists her plea to remind her where they are and it feels like she’s dying inside. 

“Ninth and Corona.” Ben supplies helpfully. Rey looks down at him gratefully. 

“9th and Corona. Please hurry.” Rey drops the phone - her hand giving out - but Rey doesn’t pick it up, all her attention on Ben. She grabs the edges of his cowl, pushing it back and easing his head so that he’ll have a cushion against the ground. Her eyes jump from his wound to his eyes, and she doesn’t notice how badly her body is shaking. 

Ben does.

“Maker Ben, did you want me to kill you?” Rey asks, her voice panicked, mind desperately listening for the sound of a siren.

He doesn’t respond. Just looks at her, hand still on her cheek. He gazes at her with a desperate energy, eyes running over her face to memorize it. Rey wants him to respond, to refute her, but he chooses that moment to pass out. 

Rey sits next to him, both their lightsabers in her lap, phone clutched to her ear while she waits for the sirens. 

Rey is very good at waiting, she considers herself an expert, but the four minutes it takes for the ambulance to appear are the very hardest of her life. 

For the line of work and company she keeps Rey should have clocked more time at the hospital. She’s been at the doors of this place plenty of times, dropping and picking up scavengers when missions go sideways, but the only time she’d been inside was due to an embarrassing hospital visit when Unkar worked her too hard with too little food and Rey passed out at school. Rey’s hands still sweat when someone at school reminds her of it. But now Rey wishes it had happened more often, anything to make this night feel less alien to her. 

She’s pacing in Ben’s room, waiting for him to wake up. 

The doctor’s have already discharged her - she has some weird mechanical patch on her shoulder, her hand scanned and stamped with a diagnosis - the ugly bruises are starting to form, and they’ve healed the two hairline fractures.

But Ben - he has the same patches as her - covering so much of his face and chest. He’s in a hospital gown, lying in a bed, tubes and needles running in and out of his right arm, attached to a machine that gives a steady beat. They insist he’s just exhausted, that he’ll wake up when his body gets its rest. Something about old wounds not having a chance to heal - which doesn’t make any sense because Ben is the best fighter she’s ever seen, no one could wound him - but she doesn’t have any strength to argue, she’s using all of it just staying next to Ben. 

Rey is trying to be patient, eyes seeking out the rise and fall of his chest even as she hears the machine's rendition of his heart beat, forcing herself not to shake him awake. She has an irrational fear that he won’t wake up, that she’ll never be able to see his eyes again. 

The nurses come and go, each reminding her to use the chair that turns into a bed so she can get some sleep, but Rey waves them off, too full of nervous energy to really consider it. 

For all the attention Rey’s paying Ben it’s the height of irony she doesn’t realize when he wakes. Rey’s lost in thoughts, her mind turning over a speech that Ben will listen to, to end this horrible war between them, and she misses the change in breathing, the uptick in his heart’s beat, the way his eyes zone in on her. 

“Stayed to gloat?” Rey’s mid stride when she hears Ben, and her body swivels towards him while her mind catches up. Rey doesn’t speak - can’t quite manage it yet, her eyes roving over him. He’s laying down, watching her apprehensively, the ugly tone he used is still hanging between them, but he’s alive and Rey can’t find it within herself to care about his barb; something cracks inside of Rey. 

The first sob is to be expected.

Rey’s cried before, she’s even cried in front of Ben. But it’s always economical. A quick breakdown that ends before it’s really begun, usually with silent tears. 

The second sob is unlikely, but it’s happened before. They’ve joked about it - a situation being two sobs worthy. 

The third sob is unprecedented. 

Rey sounds like she can’t breath, her hand coming to hide her face in a fruitless display, because her shoulders are heaving and she’s making this terrible sound, she’s trying to talk now, because she expects this to end, but it’s not, and her words are getting choked by the anguish pouring forth. It doesn’t even sound like Basic, what she’s speaking. 

“Rey, come here.” Ben says, he sounds panicked. Is he upset? Rey’s so overwhelmed she can’t really tell. 

Rey shakes her head even as her feet carry her to his bedside. She’s trying to make this stop, but her body isn’t listening to her, and the horrible tears keep coming, the gasping breaths continue, and she’s shaking all over. Ben pulls her arm - probably to get her to sit on his bed - but Rey’s next sob is colored by pain, her shoulder throbbing.

“Sorry, sorry I forgot - stupid. Please sit down Rey. Please - I can’t bear hearing you like this.” 

Rey falls on his bed more than sits, come undone by Ben’s tone. She feels his arms gently pulling her close, settling her on his left side. He’s holding her so gently, have they ever touched like this? Rey puts her hand over his heart, looking at the bruised limb move up and down in tune to his heart’s beating. She feels them settle against his pillows, feels his hospital gown soak up her tears. She wants to thank him, wants to press her lips against his, wants to joke about her shoes on the bed because he hates it when she forgets to take them off, but all she can do is cry.

She cries for what feels like a long time. 

When Rey finally stops crying, when no more tears fall and her breath returns to a steady rhythm, a terrible fear overcomes her, that this is the ending of them, that they’ve hit an impasse they can’t overcome. 

“Ben?” Rey asks, she should look him in the eye when she says this, but she’s never been the brave one when it comes to them. 

“Hmm?” He says, tone casual while his fingers tighten around her arm. 

“I love you.” Rey confesses. She doesn’t wait for Ben’s response. “And.. I can’t do this again. I can’t fight you and I can’t join you when you’re working for Snoke and I can’t be separated from you like this-” Rey takes a deep breath, readying herself to continue. But Ben surprises her. 

“Okay.” Rey lifts her head, so confused she has to look at him, to understand what that syllable means. 

“What?” Ben smiles, and he looks so different. Lighter. Relieved. More like the person she saw whenever they were alone together.

“I’ll end my business relationship with Snoke.” Rey understands the words he’s saying, but more than that she doesn’t understand a word he’s said. 

“What?” 

“Did you give yourself a concussion?” He lightly pushes back a strand of her hair, failing to get it behind her ear. Tries again. Keeps his hand there. Rey doesn’t want him to remove it. 

“Ben!” 

“You terminate your working relationship with Unkar, and I’ll do the same with Snoke.” It’s a nod back to the beginning of their friendship, when she would only accept his help in the form of a barter. 

Rey’s already nodding before the sentence is out. Ben smiles and Rey feels safe for the first time. Truly safe. His hand is still on her face, and she rests her cheek on it, pressing her battered hand against his so he won’t let go. 

“But he won’t just let you go.” Rey points out, wanting to be logical in the face of all of the emotions welling up inside. For the first time she feels like she’s allowed to feel them, that he’s hers to love. 

“He will.” Ben says firmly. Rey’s so overwhelmed with relief she doesn’t press him. 

“I’ve missed you.” Rey exclaims, unable to keep it inside any longer. Ben looks her over, his gaze assessing. Rey is reminded of herself when they first met, double checking every kind word for sincerity. 

“Rey, you don’t-”

“Can I kiss you?” Rey asks. He looks stunned. 

“If you’d like.” Rey’s lips brush against Ben’s before she thinks to be nervous. And then she doesn’t need to be, because this is Ben, her best friend, she’s safe. Rey goes slowly, taking delight in the novelty of touching Ben so intimately, that she’s allowed to do this, now. The thrill she feels in Ben’s lips moving against hers, gentle and thorough, it’s intoxicating. Then Ben moans, a quiet breathy sound, and Rey loses her graceful pacing, opening her mouth and licking his lower lip, biting it gently. 

“Rey.” Ben says against her mouth. It sounds like a moan. Like a plea. Rey jerks back. 

“Sorry, was that weird? Am I hurting you?” Rey shifts, wanting to remove her weight from his but careful of her shoulder, it won’t let her take any weight on that side. Ben’s arms tighten around her, pulling her back down. He mouths her words with a smile on his face, like she’s said something funny. 

“No, don’t go.”

“I won’t.” Rey promises. Rey presses a chaste kiss against his collarbone, but she hears his breath stutter and thinks perhaps it wasn’t as chaste as she assumed. She repeats the process, speaking as she trails kisses, paying particular attention to the moles on his neck; trying to remain on the side of gentle with them both injured. “I didn’t call your parents, but we should let them know what happened. And Luke will be worried.” 

“Rey.” Ben groans, pulling her closer, “If you have to speak, change the conversation.” Rey laughs, so happy she doesn’t mind his tone. 

“What should I say?” Rey asks, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the spot under his ear. His response is distracted. Rey wonders if it's too soon to slip her hand under his clothes. Ben’s hands haven’t moved from their original spots, one still holding her in place while the other landed on her left shoulder, so Rey assumes that’s reserved for their next time. 

“Anything else.” 

It’s strange though, Rey always thought if they ever did this Ben would take a more active role. 

Not that she’s complaining, even this is wonderful; beyond her imagination. 

“How does your hair look so nice when it’s been trapped under that helmet?” Ben’s laugh, full bellied and light, hasn’t been heard in so long that Rey jerks up, wanting to look at Ben. It trails off quickly, obvious that he’s tugged on the mechanical stitching on his cheek, but his eyes remain light and happy. 

“Tiny combs in the helmet.” He says, tone serious with twinkling eyes. Rey smiles at him, eyes focused on his cheek. Her eyes run up and down the gash. 

“How much pain are you in?” Ben doesn’t answer, and Rey tears her gaze away from his wound, finding his eyes. 

“Very little.” Rey looks at him in disbelief.

“My injuries are more than a little painful and they’re nothing compared to what I did to you.” Ben looks pained, and he gathers Rey’s hand in his, the tubing making the gesture awkward. He brings her hand up to his mouth, kissing it so lightly she can barely feel his lips. Rey’s reminded of his apology at the diner, before any of this began. 

“Yesterday I was certain I’d lost you. Today you’re in my arms; any pain is very little in comparison.” Rey’s heart thuds in her chest. A smile takes root despite everything.

“Ben, you could never.. there’s nothing you could do to lose me.” She doesn’t know how to explain this feeling she has, like he’s just as much a part of her as she is. “But I’d also appreciate it if you stopped testing that theory.” She adds, not wanting him to get any ideas. 

Ben nods, eyes glistening. Her eyes catch on his metal patch and Rey wants to voice the thought she has during their battle; to ask him if he did lean into her swing on purpose, but she’s afraid of the answer. 

So she kisses him, less gently. To communicate what she’s afraid to say; that he can’t leave her, that he’s so important to her, that they’re so much better together. Rey feels Ben finally respond, his arms tighten around her to the point of pain, as if he’s trying to fuse their bodies together, but Rey loves it, feeling cherished. But then Ben’s gentling his actions, and his fingers trail at the small of her back, making small circles. Rey moans, overwhelmed by the feeling, squirming to press closer to him, to relieve the ache that’s gathering within her. Ben’s mouth opens, and he’s smiling! Her heart rate ratchets up and she pulls back because she’s missed his real smile more than anything. 

She decides immediately that Ben’s smile from kissing her is her favorite smile in the world.

Rey leans back down, her kiss with Ben not gentle in the least, bumping his cheek with her nose and Ben - he - 

“Ow.” It would be comical how quickly Rey jumps up. Ben’s smiling, but it’s obvious he’s in more than a little pain. 

“Sorry - got carried away - sorry!” Rey squeaks out, feeling keen embarrassment. “I should uh I’ll press the call button, so the nurse can check you over and give you another dose of meds.”

“If you’d like.” Ben sounds far too amused, but Rey can hear the pain in his voice, so she reaches over and presses the button. She also reaches into her pocket, grabbing his phone to finally inform his family. Ben looks over in confusion.

“Where’s yours?’ Ben asks, eyebrow quirking at the visual of his phone in her hand. 

“In my backpack.” Rey answers, “By the gods Ben, you haven’t texted your parents since last year? Do you think I’ll freak them out if I call them?”

“They’ll be less alarmed if you use your phone.”

“I can’t.” Rey states, like it's obvious. She creates a group chat with Leia, Han, and Luke and names it The Return of the King. At least Luke will get the joke. And Ben will be annoyed, that’s always a bonus. 

“Your bag’s always two feet away from you.” 

“Except I dropped it before we started fighting, and then I took you to the hospital. Do you really think I’d make the ambulance swing back to get my bag or something?” Rey doesn’t look up as she types.

“You didn’t remember to grab it before they came?” 

“I was a bit busy at the time.” Rey says, evading the question. She doesn’t want to admit she forgot that it existed. “Do you want me to read out what I’m typing or just hit send?” 

“Whatever you’d like. Have you ever forgotten your backpack somewhere before?” 

“You know I haven’t.” Rey huffs out. She rereads what she’s written and then hits send.   
Glancing up at the corner of the screen to note the time Rey amends her thought. “They might be asleep. I should probably call them.”

“Tell Luke to pick it up for you.” That answers the question of who she should reach out to first. 

“It’s unlikely my bag’s still sitting there in downtown Jakku.” Ben holds out his hand and Rey stops navigating to the contacts screen, passing his phone to him. Rey watches Ben as he clicks, noting how long his hair has gotten, how his lips look more red than usual and then her thought process is interrupted because Ben has shoved his phone into her line of sight. It’s a screen of a blinking dot. It takes her a minute to figure out what it means. 

“That’s my bag?” Her disbelief is evident in her tone. 

“That’s your phone, which is presumably still in your bag.” Rey looks at Ben in amazement, which quickly turns to puzzlement, and then amusement. 

“Ben, that’s so creepy.” 

“Useful.” He amends, but the tips of his ears turn red. “Send Luke the link before you call him in case someone finds your bag before he does.” Rey does just that, and then returns to search for Luke’s number. 

“Is this how you always knew where to find me?” Rey asks, thinking of all the times he’s appeared when she was at the library, meeting her outside of Luke’s studio, knocking at her door late at night. Is it strange she never wondered why he always knew where she was? 

“You didn’t disable the location monitor.” Ben says with a huff. And it’s the same noise he makes when she’s said something clever but he doesn’t want to admit it, when it's clear she’s won the argument. That huff is one of her favorite sounds. Laughing, Rey dips her head to kiss Ben, but stops short when the door opens, and a haggard nurse appears. 

“You rang?” The nurse asks, pulling out her stethoscope and checking the readouts of the machines by side of the bed. Rey moves to the chair, feeling caught and uncomfortable. How do people actually do public displays of affection? 

“He’s in a lot of pain.” Rey says, worried Ben will sugar coat it. The nurse doesn’t turn her way, but she does start questioning Ben on pain levels. Absentmindedly Rey presses the call button on Ben’s phone, pulling it up to her ear as she watches Ben explain how he’s feeling. He seems distant from her now, should she have stayed on the bed? Is she just imagining that? Rey’s pulled from her reverie when she hears a gruff, 

“What do you want?”

“Luke!’ Rey breathes out. More pleased to hear his voice than she expects. It feels normal with everything changing around her.

“Rey? Why are you calling from Ben’s phone?” The anger is gone from his voice, agitation taking its place. But it sounds nearly the same and Rey thinks she’s just being hopeful. 

“Don’t get mad -” Rey begins. 

“Rey, why do I feel a deep foreboding?” 

“Because you are very wise.” Ben rolls his eyes at Rey’s wording, and Rey is unaccountably happy to see Ben’s been listening. “Listen, we’re at the hospital in Jakku. Ben’s been admitted for observation. Get Leia and Han, okay? I texted you the room number in the group chat I made. We’ll explain everything once you get here, but for now just know that we’re both safe.” 

Luke sighs, and it’s laden with several tones. There’s the tried and true: It’s too late for this, the overused: I’m too old for this, and her favorite; Thank god you’re both safe, Rey will never tire of hearing. 

“Oh! And If it’s not too much trouble could you bring me my bag? I texted you this link that has the GPS for it; I had to leave it in the street.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thank you.” Rey says, because that means Luke will get it for her. He understands just as well as Ben does.

“And Rey - don’t move until I get there.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”


	7. 7

When Rey’s consciousness surfaces the next morning it’s from the sound of a door banging open. Her mind notes that she’s fallen asleep sitting up, and that her limbs are stiff. With no other input needed Rey wakes herself up fully, a common refrain falling from her lips before she opens her eyes. 

“It’s nearly finished.” But she’s not in Unkar’s garage, hunched over an overfilled desk, catching desperate sleep as she attempts to finish her work; she’s sitting in a chair, having fallen asleep sometime during the early morning in Ben’s hospital room. A blanket slides down her arm. 

Leia and Luke are here, but Han’s nowhere in sight. Leia has a hand on her forehead, looking like she’s massaging away a headache, turned towards the window. Luke’s leaning against the wall, eyes on Rey, his expression inscrutable. By his feet is her backpack, looking no worse than usual. Clearly they’ve been here awhile, and Rey is slightly mystified that she slept through it. Rey turns to Ben, but he’s looking down at his hands. She can feel the anger and self loathing come off him in waves. 

“Where’s Han?” Rey says, a bit stupidly. She realizes once she’s asked that he’s left.

“He went to get some air.” Leia replies, always the diplomat.

The atmosphere is tense. But Rey’s had a lot of practice with that, mediating between Ben and Luke.

“I don’t suppose he’ll come back with coffee?” Rey asks, very casually sitting on the bed next to Ben. She grabs what she thought was a blanket from her chair but is actually Ben’s cowl to wrap herself up in. Ben looks at her when he feels the bed dip at her weight, but he turns away before she can catch his eye. 

“There’s always hope.” Leia says, her voice tinged with sarcasm. She sits on the chair Rey just vacated; she looks exhausted. 

Is that my bag?” Rey asks Luke, not so much for clarification but for the hope that he’ll bring it to her. Luke raises an eyebrow, but does as requested, and Rey thanks him with a smile, using her left hand to claim it. But Luke doesn’t hand it over, he grabs her hand, looking it over. Rey looks at it as well, noting how colorful the bruising is. 

“I assume this is Ben’s handiwork?” He asks, his tone is very hard. Rey knows it's always easier with Luke if she's open about these things, but the words are awkward on her tongue. Especially with Leia here. 

“It was a brilliant move.” Luke grunts, which is better than she expected. “The doctors healed the fractures but said they couldn’t do much for the bruising.” To tell the truth Rey barely remembers being patched up, and has no recollection of why they couldn’t have fixed the bruising as well. Ben could probably explain the theory if she asks. 

“And is this your only injury?” Rey sighs, like it’s an imposition, but a part of her is delighted that she has people in her life who care to ask. She unbuttons the top two buttons of her shirt, letting the cowl fall, pulling on her collar to show her shoulder. Luke is silent for a while, and then he sighs heavily. He drops the bag in her lap, and Rey notes with delight that it’s heavy - perhaps nothing’s missing?

“That’s a nasty burn.” It’s clear Luke is chastising Ben. 

“And Ben got off easy?” Rey asks, tone brokering no argument as she shifts through her bag. It’s been riffled through, and Rey sees with a pang that her mobile computer’s gone, but her clothes and books are still here. Her wallet is also missing, but that only had a handful of bills in it, a feint against looking in the lining for her real stash. She unzips the hidden side pocket and holds up her phone in wonder. Even with the tension in the room Rey smiles wide, this is far better than she expected. She has three missed calls from Luke, and assumes that’s how he found her bag. “Luke-” He interrupts her. 

“I’m sure he’ll try harder next time.” 

“There won’t be a next time.” Rey looks at Ben in confusion. “Didn’t you tell them?” Ben shrugs his shoulder, he’d been watching her go through her bag, soaking up her joy, but he won’t meet her gaze. 

“There were more pressing matters.” He adds obliquely. Rey looks around blankly, what happened while she was asleep?

“Tell us what?” Leia asks. Rey huffs out a breath.

“We’re quitting.” Rey says, glaring at Ben. Only he would put himself in the worst possible light when he’s finally ready to return. She nudges his knee with her own, but Ben offers a shrug in response, so Rey continues. “Ben’s leaving Snoke. And I’m not going back to Unkar. We’re going to take them down.” At least she’s assuming the last part. 

There’s silence in the room. It is a pregnant pause. In the silence Rey can hear how unsteadily Ben is breathing and feels contrite for her attitude. She wonders if she’s supposed to hug him. If he’d want that. 

“Is that true, Ben?” Leia asks, her voice is restrained. Ben’s looking down at his hands once more. His breathing has turned erratic, but his nod is decisive. 

“I - Well that’s - Ben -” Leia breaks off, words having left her. It’s this that finally catches Ben’s gaze, and he stares at Leia. There are tears in his eyes. 

“Mom, I -” But he can’t speak either, the two most articulate people Rey has ever met, too weighed down by what lies between them to speak. Rey tries to catch Luke’s eye, to ask what in the hell she’s supposed to do, but he’s got that same look in his eye, and all of a sudden Rey feels like she’s the intruder. 

“I’ll go find Han.” Rey says, voice hushed, loathe to disturb the quiet.

Rey carefully gets up, wrapping Ben’s cowl more tightly around herself and pulling her bag onto her shoulder. She takes a moment to retrieve the lightsabers she stashed under Ben’s mattress and drops them in her backpack, and it could be comical that she’s grabbing them now, but no one’s paying her any attention. She watches Leia sit next to Ben, hesitate briefly and then pulls Ben in for a hug. 

She’s so much smaller than Ben, but he still seems to curl into her embrace, his head resting on her shoulder. He’s crying and Rey’s paralyzed by it, she’s never seen Ben like this. When Luke walks quietly to sit on the other side of the bed, hand reaching for Ben’s shoulder Rey starts and makes her way to the door, closing it softly behind her and trying to think about where Han would be. 

It turns out Rey doesn’t need to to look hard for Han; he’s pacing right outside, angrily typing on his phone and muttering about sleeping wookiees? 

“Han.” He starts at her voice, looking angry and then chagrined. 

“I thought you’d be Leia.” Rey tries to smile and can’t quite manage it. 

“Um, everyone’s inside.. hugging, if you want to join in.” Han’s look of disbelief mirror’s Ben’s. Rey feels a strange vertigo, like she’s seeing Ben thirty years from now. 

“What? How?” But he doesn’t push his hair back, and the moment’s broken. Rey shrugs, the intricacies of family dynamics are lost on her, and then recalls that Han doesn’t know. 

“Oh right, Ben didn’t tell you. He’s leaving Snoke.” 

Rey would never question that Han loves Ben, the way he reacts. The look of relief, of love that transforms the man, it’s staggering. Rey feels almost voyeuristic, watching a man realize the child he thought was gone has been returned to him. 

“And he didn’t think to lead with that?” Han mutters under his breath. The ornery tone in his voice is affected, pretending to be upset so no one notices how shaken he is. 

“Ben’s pretty good at talking without saying anything.” Rey tentatively replies. Han hums in agreement. 

“He gets that from his mother.” Han states, finger raised, and it’s clear Rey’s stumbled upon a family argument. He drops his hand with a sigh. “You know, I never wanted to send him to Luke’s.” This is new. 

“You didn’t?” 

“How does teaching a kid with anger issues how to fight solve the problem? I wanted him to meditate with those monks on Ach-To. But you try to get a word in edgewise with the wonder twins.” Rey makes a noncommittal noise, seeing the logic but pained by the thought that he’d never spent all his time with Luke, and therefore her. 

“Well, I’d better get in there.” Han says, tone even but hesitant in the way he stands at the door. Rey wonders if Han feels like an outsider in his own family. It’s probably just a projection, but she knows from Ben that Han grew up like her, mostly raising himself. She thinks about how angry Ben’s been that his father kept leaving for long stretches with Chewbacca, his best friend and work partner, claiming the latest enterprise. But Rey knows what it feels like to run from what you want, thinking you can’t have a claim on it after going so long without.

“Ben loves you.” Rey says, just in case it’s been so long since he heard it that he’s forgotten. “He wants you in there.” Han shoots her a look, and then his gaze softens. 

“Could say the same thing about you.” For some reason the thought terrifies her. What if he doesn’t want her, now that he’s willing to accept his family? Rey tries to remind herself that it doesn’t make any logical sense, but she can’t face opening that door. Not right now. 

“I should get to school.” That’s a lie; “I have a chemistry test.” That’s the truth. “But I’ll come back after.” She hopes that’s the truth. “I still have my phone in case anyone needs to reach me.” 

If she were speaking to Luke, or even Leia, Rey thinks they would insist she come inside, test be damned, but this is Han, and his gaze is a bit too knowing. 

“All right. I’ll let them know.” 

It was a mistake to go to school. 

Rey finishes the test fifteen minutes early and spends the rest of the period in a state of exhaustion, alternatively reminding herself how Ben held her before insisting she get some sleep, how she felt his eyes on her as she passed out; and the way he clung to his mother in the morning. 

When the bell finally rings Rey drags herself to her next class, ignoring the looks she’s getting for her appearance, which means she must really look a sight, but she can’t quite muster the energy to go into a bathroom and try to make herself presentable. 

She’s just settled into her seat when the intercom cackles to life. 

“R- Rina Daray, please make your way to the Main Office.” Rey can feel the disappointment settle in her stomach. She hadn’t realized she’d been expecting someone to come get her until her name wasn’t called. Even more embarrassing, Rey can feel tears forming.

It turns out Rey has enough energy to get to the bathroom after all. 

It’s a miserable day for Rey, compounding every time she checks her phone and doesn’t see any messages from anyone. Rey reminds herself that she isn’t expecting any, but the hurt feeling growing in her chest says otherwise. 

Rey’s thoughts are dark when she exits the school building. Her feet take her on her well tread path to the downtown bus stop that’ll take her back to Plutt’s junk yard. She’s surrounded by cars, the top of the bus shelter in sight when Rey stops, remembering suddenly that she promised Ben she wouldn’t return there, but then where is she supposed to go? 

The worrying thoughts make purchase on her mind, and she wonders if they’re still at the hospital, who she should call, if she’ll be interrupting a family moment, but no plan forms because Rey hears her name called, and her head swivels, catching on the visage of Luke. He’s leaning against a Millennium Falcon, a thermos in one hand as he stares her down. 

Rey’s feet carry her over to him on autopilot, the smile lighting up her face without her knowledge. 

“Aren’t you a bit old to hang around in a school parking lot?” Rey asks, coming to stand in front of the man. Luke laughs, and Rey can tell from the way it lingers that he’s had a long day. 

“Isn’t that the theme of the day.” Luke adds cryptically, and then shakes his head, sidestepping her to open the passenger door. “Lady, your chariot awaits.”

Rey slides into the seat with a dismissive chuckle, depositing her backpack between her legs. Luke hands her the thermos, and then closes the passenger door before she can tell him she doesn’t need it. Rey’s staring ahead, lost in thought when Luke settles himself in the driver’s seat.

Rey forces herself to look away, thinking of the first thing to say as a distraction from all her contradictory emotions: “Shouldn’t you be with everyone?” Luke turns the ignition.

“Nope.” He explains. 

“Luke!” Rey feels some of the exasperation leaking into her tone. Before she can modify herself with some remark Luke speaks. 

“Listen Rey; Leia and Han are taking care of their kid, I’m taking care of mine.”

It’s impossible to hear that without a smile bursting upon her face, a shaky laugh issuing forth. Rey even misses the seat-belt in her first attempt, her mind overturning the phrase. She takes a sip from the thermos so she doesn’t do something stupid, like tell Luke exactly how much hearing that from him means to her, and notes that the coffee’s had half and half liberally added; her favorite. 

“So while you were taking your chemistry test-“ Luke begins, a teasing note in his voice, Rey’s harrumph is loud even with a mouthful of coffee, “Leia and Han discharged Ben from the hospital and started working on a deal with the Republic to take down the First Order. Ben’s been talking to lawyers and senators all day, so he’s in fine form, and they want to speak to you as soon as possible.” 

“But I don’t know anything about Snoke or the First Order.” Rey reiterates, as though Luke’s forgotten.

“They’re claiming they just want to hear what you know about Plutt, but Leia’s pretty sure they have a really stupid idea about how to take down Snoke and want to use you to do it.” Rey waits for Luke to elaborate. 

“Is it a secret?” Rey asks when Luke doesn’t continue. 

“It’s idiotic is what it is.” Luke states. “They want Ben to go back to Snoke with you in handcuffs. Then while you’re on the inside distracting the heads of the First Order they’ll have a mole break open their firewall, and as soon as they have enough incriminating evidence they’ll go in blasters blazing.”

“Well,” Rey starts, and then stops, unsure what to say. The truth is that she’ll do whatever they need her to to help Ben, but that plan sounds especially jeopardy friendly. 

“Just wait, Leia’ll get them towards a halfway reasonable plan with enough effort. She keeps complaining she should have banded together the Resistance movement after all; the Republic doesn’t really understand how to take down an evil empire.” 

“Why didn’t she?” Rey asks. 

“Well, it’s been an open secret that her son was working for Snoke, and it wasn’t great optics to have her create an influential militia group with the aim to take it down. Too many people would wonder which organization she’d be after.” 

“They’d really think Leia would do that?” Luke shoots her a look and she promptly blanches, remembering the stories surrounding Luke and his twin during The Empire’s reign. “Are we going to them now, then?” Rey asks, in search of a shift in subject. 

“Soon.” Luke agrees. “I thought you might want to pick up anything you wanted from the Junkyard before it becomes a crime scene.” It shouldn’t be so touching, but it is, and Rey hides a smile behind the thermos. 

Rey has two duffles and can think of fifteen different ways to pack up everything she needs, but it still takes her longer than she expects to grab everything. At first she thinks it’s because Luke is being so nosy, asking unceasing questions about her pantry and the furniture she built, making aha noises when some aspect of her character is revealed by her room, but if Rey’s honest with herself, she’s stretching out the moment because she knows it’ll be a different Rey that carries the suitcases out. 

Rey knows that Luke has strong feelings for the people who dropped her off at Unkar’s that he keeps to himself. Ben has those same feelings, and rarely deeps those thoughts to himself. But Rey had always felt above the both of them, the righteous superiority of the faithful. She’s known, feeling deep in her bones, that her family would come back for her, that they loved her. It was plain as day to Rey; one didn’t disregard the fact of the sun shining just because they’d gone inside.

But as Rey gathers items now, alternating between packing and stomping around, she realizes that some part of her has started to doubt that her parents will return, and as she packs she knows that this is the end of that surety, in the devotion to the ideal that her family will return for her. 

So Rey goes slowly, more thorough than she needs to be, holding onto the last moments of her childhood.

When Rey and Luke close the trunk of the Falcon, bags safely nestled, Unkar’s visage appears. Rey starts, unsure for the first time what to say in the face of her lackluster benefactor. He seems nervous to see her.

“Going somewhere girlie? What happened at the drop off?” Rey’s always hated that nickname, but this is the first time she’s felt embarrassed that Luke’s there to witness it.

“Um.” Rey begins, inarticulate. 

“Rey, would you mind terribly waiting in the car while I speak to Mr. Plutt?” Rey gives Luke a long, inquisitive look, somewhat surprised when she decides that she doesn’t have to fight this battle, and nods her assent. Luke waits until she’s sitting in the Falcon, and she watches through the back view as Unkar makes his traditional threatening posturing, gesturing at Rey and Luke in equal measure. Unkar’s unhappiness and likelihood to make good on his threats reverberates through every boisterous claim.

For all the training Rey’s had under Luke’s study, she’s only seen him actually battle a handful of times. The most important, of course, was the night they met, when he saved her from a group of Teedo’s thugs. It was the first time she’d seem someone act without their own self interest foremost in their mind. Obviously she’d run away after he’d helped her out of a storm gutter, eyes gentle as he asked if she was alright, but it was enough to make her seek out his studio, to slowly allow his overtures of friendship and protection. 

Rey watches as Luke listens to Unkar’s claims, and then serves one well placed punch to knock Unkar to the ground. 

Unkar doesn’t move a muscle in the slow walk Luke employs back to the car. 

“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.” Luke comments, for once his voice isn’t the light, teasing tone she knows him for, it’s deep, and shows his years. Rey suddenly realizes how amazing it is that a man who’s known for fighting, for destroying regimes, didn’t force her hand and drive her from Unkar’s grasp. That he held himself back because she hadn’t been ready for him to. 

“Luke,” Rey begins, hesitant, unsure how she can put this feeling into words; “Thank you for letting me choose.” And it doesn’t do justice to what he’s been in her life, teaching her how to fight, introducing her to Ben, lightly guiding her towards her path, holding back his own desires so she can discover her own. But when she places her hand in his, unaware this is the first time she’s willingly touched him, Luke tears up, and she thinks he understands anyway.


	8. 8

Even with all the coffee Rey’s consumed in the past twenty four hours she’s yawning as she walks through the entryway of Ben’s parent’s home, and it takes her longer than it should to distinguish between the raised voices. 

“Is that Han and Leia?” Rey asks Luke. She doesn’t hear Ben’s voice in the cacophony, and wonders where he factors in.

“I’ll go simmer things down. If past mistakes are anything to go by Ben’s probably hiding in his room.” Luke’s already out of sight, his voice echoing with Han and Leia’s before Rey thinks to ask Luke where exactly Ben’s room is, but she only hesitates a moment before deciding she’d rather try to figure it out than get into the middle of whatever that fight was about.

Rey takes her time opening and closing doors as she goes, admiring the frequent paintings of Ben as his smile diminishes as he ages but his ears certainly don’t; when she hears a large thump come from down the hallway, behind an ornate door. Rey turns towards the noise and meets two more like it in timber before she slowly lets herself inside, standing so her back’s to it, but leaving it unlatched. Ben’s standing in front of a floor to ceiling wall of bookshelves, systemically upending shelves of books. 

“What did I say about knocking?” Ben asks as he unearths another row of books. Rey absentmindedly tilts her body so she can knock on the door, but her focus is on his room, her gaze roving. 

It’s been a few years since she’s seen it through their infrequent video calls, but the bedspread looks familiar, the posters on the wall opposite his desk are dear to her, and she thinks about how often she’d wanted to come to this room but been too afraid to ask. 

“Rey.” Ben says, surprise clear in his tone. Rey’s eyes lazily move to reach his, and even if she’d missed his tone his face shows the emotion starkly. Her eyes catch on his wound once more, and she says the first thing that comes to mind so she won’t apologize again. 

“What’d the books do?” He ignores her comment, striding across the room until he’s standing right in front of her. She thinks for a moment he’s going to kiss her - she wouldn’t mind - but he speaks instead. His tone isn’t pleasant. 

“How was your chemistry test?” 

“I think I set the curve.” Rey smiles, perhaps foolishly hoping Ben will too, but he’s just staring at her, too close to make conversation anything but fraught with tension. “Luke said you spent the day with bureaucrats?” Rey tries again. 

No response. 

“We packed up my things from Unkar, so-” And then Ben’s interrupting her, not with conversation, but his mouth. He’s kissing her like they haven’t seen each other in months, like they’ve survived a battle against impossible odds, like he can’t hold himself back a moment longer. Rey gives just as good as she’s getting, pulling Ben backwards until they hit the door, hearing it latch as she’s pressed against the wood. Rey’s finally free to touch Ben as she’s dreamed about incessantly, and one hand seeks out his hair, desperate to comb through his locks, while the other is intent on finding skin unencumbered by fabric. The moan Ben makes when she finds it feels like reward enough. 

“Remember when you said it’s corny to stop someone mid-sentence with a kiss?” Rey can’t help but goad when Ben lets go of her mouth to kiss her neck, proud of herself for maintaining a coherent thought. Ben pauses in his ministrations and peers down at her, and Rey’s afraid, suddenly, that he’ll stop, or worse, lecture her about their age gap, but instead he says, voice so gentle it nearly hurts, 

“I don’t mind it.” Rey’s inclined to agree, face hurting from her wide smile. When she pulls him back down they’re both smiling, but Rey finds she really likes kissing him like that. 

“Rey.” Ben says, possibly days later but more likely less than that. Rey makes a halfhearted hum, lost in the haze of feeling Ben’s open-mouthed kisses on her clavicle, his hand gently toying with the buttons on her shirt until the last is undone, while she combs fingers through his hair. “My neck hurts.” It takes a moment for the thought to process. 

“Wanna lift me up?” Rey asks, Ben starts at the idea and Rey misinterprets his pause. “No you’re right, we’re probably too injured for that. Should we try your bed?” Rey asks, ever the pragmatist. Ben looks at Rey in wonder, and finds himself nodding wordlessly. 

It turns out kissing on a bed is far preferable than against a wall, and Rey takes a moment to enjoy the feeling of her back against the mattress, to Ben hovering over her, afraid to commit to a position that puts his full weight on her, to feel the ends of his hair brush against her face as he changes angles. And then Ben decides on a position; his leg shifts, and she feels his thigh press between hers, and Rey quickly loses the ability to think at all. 

Instinctively she presses herself against Ben’s thigh, delighting in the friction in a way she never has before. Rey clings to Ben, hands tightly clasping his arms as she moans into his mouth and moves again, surrendering to her body in the way she only does in a fight, trusting in the process. Ben’s breathing picks up, and he presses against her, moving in a rhythm that drives her wild, until all she can focus on is this building tension in her body. Rey’s half incoherent, moaning with every prolonged touch, until Ben shifts, and his hand rests on her breast, still covered in her bindings. But she can feel the heat of his hand, register the slow circles he makes, where he must be able to feel her pebbled nipple, and at the next point of contact with Ben’s thigh Rey arches, her body spasming as she feels her first orgasm come to life. 

It takes Rey a long moment to come back to herself, to recognize what happened, to realize her eyes have been closed. She opens them, slowly, and sees Ben hovering over her, watching her every movement. 

Rey smiles, and feels Ben’s answering smile somewhere inside. She watches him settle beside her, careful not to agitate their injuries while pulling her close, pressing a kiss to her brow. His fingers fiddle with her buttons again, but this time he sighs and starts fastening them. 

“We can still-” Rey hesitates, unsure how to explain what she wants, “I want you to feel that too.” She tries again, aware of her inexperience but wanting to try anyway. 

“I’m fine.” Ben answers, and he looks like he means it; Rey’s never seen him so happy nor peaceful. Rey opens her mouth to argue but Ben beats her to it, “We should get downstairs, they’ve probably ordered food and it’ll be a dead giveaway when it appears without you.” Rey rolls her eyes, but doesn’t push the issue. It’s hard to argue any point coherently when she can still feel his phantom weight pressing her into the mattress. 

“Rey.” Ben asks, tone serious, “I want to ask you something. Will you tell me the truth, even if you think it isn’t what I want to hear?” 

“Oh, you could tell?” Rey asks, wishing she had something to cover her face. This was mortifying. Ben looks mystified. 

“What?” Rey rises from the bed, seeking distance. She goes by the piles of books, reaching for the ones nearest her feet and returning them to the shelf without rhyme or reason. 

“I mean, it’s not like I didn’t try. As soon as I knew it was possible I experimented with it, but I don’t think I had the angle right. And I had other things to do, you know. It’s not like I had tons of free time to explore.” The silence is loud when Rey finishes, and she reached for another tome to stack on the shelf. Ben is staring at her, not having moved from his perch on the bed. 

“Rey, what are you talking about?” 

“Orgasms?” Rey questions. 

“What?” Ben has gone from looking mystified to flummoxed. 

“It was obvious I never had one before?” Rey tries to explain, reaching for more books. “I figured you probably have loads of experience from college and girls your age but- what?” Rey asks, trailing off when she looks up from her ministrations and sees how Ben is looking at her. 

“That wasn’t what I was going to ask.” Ben replies evenly. He hasn’t moved a muscle from his spot on the bed. 

“Oh. What were you going to ask?” Rey asks, making a great show of lining up the books so they’d all reach the edge of the shelf. Ben ignores her query, getting off the bed until he’s so close he’s crowding her. 

“So that was the first time you ever came?” Ben asks, tone far too pleased for comfort. Rey nods, looking at the bookcase, Ben looking at her. She doesn’t need to be looking at him to know her earlier assessment was incorrect; this is the happiest Ben’s ever been. 

“There wasn’t anyone at college, or law school. Or any girls my age.” Ben offers, when it’s clear Rey intends to never look at him again. 

“You know, I think I do smell food.” Rey says, turning to face Ben, but not quite able to look him in the eye. 

“Rey.” Rey looks up, “There’s only ever been you. There only ever will be you.” She can see the truth of his statement in his eyes, and a glow lights up her face. Rey rises to her toes, hand balancing on his shoulder so she can kiss him, and show in her own way that she feels the same. 

It’s a shame Luke chooses that moment to barge into Ben’s room, eliciting another round of ‘Do you ever knock?’ because it would have behoven Rey to hear the question Ben was going to ask. 

Of the two meals Rey's had in this house this one is less awkward. But not by much. They mostly eat in silos, with enough strangers to keep conversation strangled. Rey’s sitting next to Luke, on her second plate of food, and absentmindedly counting the number of people in suits entering and leaving the room. Ben’s sitting next to her, eating with his state dinner manners, and Rey would be teasing him, but on every other bite he rubs at his jaw, like the wound on his face is pulling. His eyesight often turns towards his mother, and Rey’s worried about what’s playing on his mind. 

Leia keeps picking at her plate, hardly eating as someone calls for her attention, or she calls out to a colleague, alight with an idea. But her face is pinched, and the frequency of these interruptions don’t wane, which worries Rey. Han’s on the phone with someone who sounds like they’re responding in Wookiee, and Rey wishes the person were in the room; her Wookiee is rusty and she’d love to practice. 

If Rey hoped the gathering would relax after the meal she was sorely mistaken. The perceived silos have manifested into two groups; Leia, Ben, and most of Leia’s people have formed a group to plan strategy, whereas Rey, Luke, and Mr. Lorenzo are in a discreet corner discussing Rey’s daily life down to the minutiae. It is both boring and incredibly invasive and Rey hates the man’s tone; he is relentless and naive. 

“How would I know where Unkar keeps his money?” Rey asks, tired of the ten different ways this man has used to ask this question. As though the truth changes based on the way the questions asked. 

“But you must know where he keeps his transactional paperwork.” Relentless. 

“I was never involved with any of that.” Rey repeats, trying to keep her tone even. Luke shifts next to her; and she hopes Luke will insist they take another break. 

“Come Rey, to come to a solution we must be honest with each other.” 

“I am-” Rey realizes she’s nearly shouting and struggles to regulate her voice, “I’m telling the truth. I mostly fixed whatever the other scavengers brought in. I haven’t gone on a run for years, and I spent whatever free time I had at school or Luke’s studio. I didn’t want Unkar to pay any attention to me, and I certainly didn’t put my nose into his money or business deals.” 

“We have countless reports of you engaging with rival groups on Unkar’s order, including Snoke’s men.” Mr Lorenzo states, as though this is damning evidence that she’s lying. Rey groans. 

“Not this again! They came after me; they thought I was more important to Unkar than I am, and he didn’t dissuade anyone of the notion because it suited him to have everyone try to kill me instead of himself.” The man opens his mouth and Rey continues, “And I never hurt people for Unkar. He had Dorn and Pect for that.”

“Excuse my question Ms. Plutt-”

“It’s Rey.” Luke corrects, tone hard. Rey shoots him a grateful look, tired of correcting the man. 

“Rey.” The man concedes, “You are exceptionally capable of defending yourself, you had resources to leave Unkar’s stewardship both from the Republic’s Child Protective Services and many of the people in this room, which we multiple records of you refusing, and yet you claim that one of Unkar’s closest scavengers knew nothing about his enterprises? It will be nearly impossible to explain why you chose to stay under his care unless it was because you were training to take Unkar Plutt’s place.” 

“I never wanted to-” Rey nearly groans, tired of reiterating this point. 

“So you’ve said, multiple times. You have not given an alternative reason.” Rey glares at the man, arms folded. Luke stays silent next to her, even though he could give her explanation word for word. Is it so terrible not to discuss this? To keep it for herself? Luke’s arm has been hovering at the back of the couch they’re sitting on, and during Rey’s pause he moves it, hovering over her shoulder before finally settling on her back, making soothing circles. Rey breathes out. 

Right then. 

“I was waiting.” Rey begins. Stops. For a moment she doesn’t know how to continue when the ending is so different from how she imagined it. 

“Waiting?” The man reiterates. 

“For my parents to return. They told me they would come back for me.” Rey struggles not to remember the shade of her mother’s hair, the cadence of her father’s laugh, how it felt to be hugged by them both. How it’s all over, and she has to accept she’ll never see them again. 

“This was when you were four?” Rey shakes her head slightly. 

“Yes.” 

“And you haven’t seen them since?” Rey doesn’t like his tone. 

“No.” The man doesn’t seem to enjoy hers either. 

“You spent more than a decade in Mr. Plutt’s employ, all so you could wait for your parents to return?” He sounds surprised, and not in an encouraging way, “And what, pray tell, made you decide to give up when your circumstances didn’t?” Rey looks over at Ben, who is surrounded by his parents and a group of people in suits. Even though he’s just been engaged in a serious discussion with one of them, he looks over at Rey, as though drawn to her gaze. Rey’s shoulders relax, and she looks back at the man in front of her. 

“A pair of pretty eyes, obviously.” Luke laughs, and Rey nearly smiles. Mr. Lorenzo does not look amused; he begins rubbing his forehead, a lesser imitation of Leia’s mannerism. 

“Please do no tell me under oath that you have entered a sexual relationship with Mr. Organa Solo.”

“What?!” Rey asks reflexively, far too loudly to mask any sense of tranquility. The man shuffles the pages in front of him and produces the birth certificate she’d forced Unkar to get so she could go to a public school. 

“You are still eight months from reaching adulthood, which is useful if a criminal trial comes to fruition, but no help for Mr. Solo to be seen, on record, as consorting with an underage criminal.” Rey wonders if she’d ever been more embarrassed in her life. It’s one thing for Luke to make comments about what Ben and her were to each other, and quite another for this stranger to put everything so boldly. 

“It’s not like that.” and then, “Ben could be in more trouble for knowing me?” The man looks up at her in surprise. 

“He’s made it a condition of his involvement with the task force that no charges will be levied against you. And since you know nearly nothing about Mr. Plutt’s illegal enterprise, yet managed to ingratiate yourself into many of his dealings, he’s made a difficult situation nearly impossible. And Senator Organa still refuses to use the current situation to our advantage.” The man continues as if he hasn’t let off a bomb, “Let’s take a short break while I speak to my colleagues. Perhaps there’s another avenue we can use for you.” Rey turns to Luke, panic creeping. 

“Rey,” Luke begins, tone reassuring, “everything will be fine. These bureaucrats love to complain about how hard their jobs are, while ignoring that they have to do with little of it. Ask Leia about it, she has a whole discourse.” Rey looks over at Leia, hope and disappointment warring in her chest. Leia doesn’t look exceedingly hopeful about their situation to her, but then she’s done this once before. 

“Is that what happened with you? When you took down The Empire?” Luke looks thoughtful. 

“Back then things were different. We took more of a ‘destroy evil empires and then get granted a clemency’ approach.” Luke doesn’t like the way Rey processes this information. 

“Listen kid, Leia’s gonna come up with something brilliant, let’s just wait and see, all right?” Rey watches Mr. Lorenzo’s tired stride as he makes his way back to their corner. A terrible feeling overwhelms Rey. She tries to banish it.

“All right.” 

Rey’s dead to the world, passed out in a guest bedroom that was offered when her yawns took over the majority of her sentences. She’d thought perhaps that it would take some getting used to sleeping in a bed instead of the gentle sway of her hammock, or a hard back chair, but Rey had fallen asleep the moment her head touched one of the many pillows at her disposal. Even her dreams are quiet, the gentle sounds of waves lapping against rock, the trilling of porg’s chirps, the overwhelming greenery. 

A figure pauses at the open door of her room, watching Rey sleep. One hand lingers on the door knob, the other holds two objects. After several heartbeats he looks away, and gently closes the door, muffling the catch as it latches. 

Rey’s eyelids flicker; her dreams turn troubled.


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe don't read the epilogue if you don't intend on continuing the series. It can get bleak if you stop there.

Rey’s still dreaming when she’s rudely shaken awake. 

“What-?” Rey begins to ask and is promptly spoken over. 

“Where’s Ben?” Luke demands, and there’s no way to describe his voice except frantic. Rey’s never seen him like this. She lifts her head off the pillow, feeling the chaos around her. In the thrum of voices she can hear a native speaker of Wookiee but any former excitement is gone, replaced by an overriding fear at Luke’s behavior. 

“He isn’t in his room?” She asks, more for confirmation than actually asking.

“No. He didn’t speak to you? Ask you to go anywhere?” 

“No.” Rey looks out the window. It’s dark out; it feels closer to the middle of the night rather than the early morning though she won’t know for certain until she checks her phone. 

“He’s really not here?” Rey asks, feeling like she’s still half asleep and the world’s spun off without her. 

Luke’s ashen face finally galvanizes Rey into action, and she stumbles to her backpack, searching through its contents. When she looks up at Luke they could be twins, his expression echoing on her face. 

“He took the lightsabers.” 

Rey joins the adults in the kitchen, dressed in her spare clothing, with her hair tied back in her mother’s hairstyle, and hand tightly clenching her phone. Han’s speaking to the only person Rey doesn’t recognize, and she assumes it’s his business partner and best friend. Luke is holding Leia’s hand, quietly telling her about Rey’s discovery. 

Leia looks like all her hope has left her. 

“I know where he is.” Rey says in a clear voice. Still, she has to repeat herself before the group turns. 

“What do you mean?” Leia asks. In response Rey holds up her phone.

“He never turned off his location sharing.” 

For all her time in the district’s underbelly Rey’s never been to Snoke’s fortress. She wonders what it would look like in the daylight, how it would feel to stand in front of the building, instead of blocks away, with the predawn’s lack of light. She can barely make out the greater details, everything a confusing swirl of black and grey. 

Behind her everyone - save Leia - are arguing, and Rey has a hard time understanding how this was the dream team who toppled an evil regime. Only Leia seems to give an air of competency, toiling away in her office, readying the cavalry and desperately spinning the narrative (“Bring our boy home Han, one way or the other.”). Rey hates it, twirling her staff, she wishes they were inside already, ending this; one way or the other. 

Rey lets the thought go, tuning out the discussion and considers her weapon. She’d used it in more fights and battles than she can count, but her hand unconsciously grips it in a lightsaber hold, and fear churns at her gut, not that she’s ill equipped for the battle they’re walking into, but trying to puzzle out what Ben was thinking. 

Why didn’t he stop at reclaiming his lightsaber? Her mind keeps pushing the logical conclusion at her; that he doesn’t want her to be equipped to fight him fairly, that he’s seen her skills progressing and isn’t assured of his victory if they both battle with lightsabers. But her stubborn, prideful heart insists that he won’t fight against her, that this has to be a final, double cross against Snoke. 

The Rey of five months ago, who was assured of Ben’s fidelity and her parent’s imminent return who have agreed with her heart, but the Rey of today can’t be so easily blinded, and she grips her staff tighter still. 

The tone of conversation around her changes, and Rey listens in.

“We’re going to need a pretty big distraction for this to work.” 

Luke smiles.

“I have just the idea.”

Han and Chewbacca are prowling around for the data core, Leia is trying to contact their mole in Snoke’s regime, and Luke and Rey are escorted by armed guards to large doors. 

It turns out Luke’s grand idea is to knock on the front door and ask for Snoke. 

When they stand in front of the doors, both set of hands tied and staff more than an arm’s reach away, Rey begins to wish they had perhaps spent more time coming up with a different plan, or that Luke had spared more than suspiciously small resistance for her joining him, and then the doors are open and they’re ushered through. 

At least eight of Snoke’s men surrounded the room, in red armor and ornate weapons. This group, along with the four dispatched to bring them here, lead to a number of opponents Rey is not confident she can pull off alone, though Luke’s comforting presence is beside her. Rey eyes the weapons the red guards are wielding, and would love to believe they were for their aesthetic value and intimidation factor, but Luke had relentlessly trained her on ancient weapons used to battle against lightsabers and so they feel intimately familiar. 

Paradoxically, this made Rey feel more comfortable and willing to follow Luke’s plan; the distance between her and her staff doesn’t matter when the people she’d need to battle could cut it down in two. 

Rey cases the room with an intellectual curiosity, and she’s fortunate to be looking at the wall before them as it slowly lowers into the floor, with a mechanical, grinding sound filling the room while it makes its descent. Rey briefly smiles, reminded of a garage door in reverse.

The smile falls from her face. 

Ben stands before them, dressed as Rey had come to expect him when they went into battle, only missing his cowl. Behind him is a large, ornate throne. It should be too large for the man sitting in it, but Snoke looks comfortable, well situated and pleased with himself. After the months of Snoke sending men after her Rey expects his gaze to be trained on her, but in this she’s disappointed; he’s eyeing Luke’s handcuffs with obvious glee. 

Rey searches out Ben’s gaze, and she’s reminded that he’s wearing that awful mask once more. She notes with unease that he’s also angled towards Luke, body coiled tight with rage. Had she seen them have one pleasant interaction yesterday? But no, Ben had spent all his time with Leia, only exchanging quick words with Han and nothing of consequence with Luke. Before Rey can spiral into dissecting yesterday once again Snoke speaks. 

“Master Luke, how interesting you bring me another of your star pupils when you’ve spent so much time fruitlessly seeking to lure the first one back.” If Snoke is trying to bait Luke into an overly emotional response it doesn’t seem to work, and he responds serenely. 

“Snoke. I’m surprised you feel confident having this discussion with so few of your men around us. Are you sure you don’t want to wait for a few more?” Snoke rises, taking a step forward. His tone is not calm like Luke’s. 

“That won’t be necessary.” Snoke nods and one of his men appears behind Rey. With her own staff he knocks the length of it against her knees and Rey falls awkwardly, her bound hands providing little in the way of catching her weight. She grunts against the strain, and rises so that she’s kneeling from the ground, trying not to panic at the position she’s in. It’s then that Rey recognizes the familiar noise beside her, and then a guard falls in front of her, out cold. Rey turns her head, and Luke is holding her staff, stance too casual, with fire in his eyes. 

“Was that necessary?” He asks, throwing the staff away when the other guards point their weapons at them, and then leaning over to help Rey back to her feet, “We’ve come as your guests.” 

Snoke ignores him. 

“Kylo Ren, do you see how your uncle - your supposed familial connection - behaves when this girl is endangered? And yet - for all his arrogant manipulations to lure you back to his side - he has never shown such emotion, such care for you.” 

Kylo Ren? Rey thinks, treacherous hope blooming in her chest. She helped him come up with that nickname; when they’d reenacted Ben’s favored battles after lessons with Luke. Rey stares at Ben, and he’s looking her way, but she can’t read him with that awful mask on, his body language still tense. She feels any hope faltering under the mask’s unwavering gaze. The man by her feet groans, coming awake and taking two tries to stand up. His movements are jerky as he rejoins his comrades. 

“You know that isn’t true.” Luke says, tone soft. He steps away from her, towards Ben. 

“Isn’t it?” Ben asks, voice robotic, and yet Rey can feel the emotion in it. Snoke settles back in his throne, oozing pleasure. 

“Come Luke, let us be honest with each other. Your star pupil left when he could no longer achieve greatness under your iron will, and so you turned to another, someone far more easy to manage.” Rey scoffs, forgetting for a moment her promise to Luke not to speak. Snoke seems amused by her response. “You disagree? Come, child. If my security reports are to be believed you are a worthy adversary, cautious to a fault. And yet you allow yourself to be brought here, hands tied and without a weapon? Following Luke has made you weak.” 

“I am not weak.” Rey nearly shouts, angry at the insinuation. Luke’s soft “Rey” is ignored. 

“Yes, so my padawan says. I have been curious…” Snoke trails off, looking at the uncle and nephew, and settling back on her. “I believe there’s still some time for a testament of skill. Kylo, if you could be so kind.” Rey looks over at Ben, not understanding, and then everything happens very quickly. 

The guards that led Rey and Luke in converge on Luke, shoving him away from Rey. Rey hears Luke grunt, a sound she used to cherish as it meant she finally scored a hit, but now her heart is beating erratically, and she turns her head; he appears safe for the moment. 

She catches his gaze, and he looks steadily back at her, like they’re in the middle of training and he’s going harder on her than usual but trusts her to keep up. Rey turns back and sees that the eight guards dressed in red have circled her, and then Ben steps between them, until he’s directly in front of her. He hands her her lightsaber, and Rey takes it, her left hand moving with her right; still cuffed. 

For a moment they just stare at each other. 

They’ve had many silent conversations over the years, sizing the other up before a battle, struggling to make the other laugh during a lesson by Luke, arguing a point without words, and this could be like any of their other spats, except Ben’s eyes are covered and Rey’s hands are cuffed, and she doesn’t know which side he stands on. 

He ignites his lightsaber. 

“What were you going to ask me in your bedroom, Ben?” Rey asks, doing the same. She wishes Luke had given her lessons with her hands bound instead of blindfolded; but who could have imagined this? 

“If you could still trust me.” 

Rey’s breath is loud in the resulting quiet. She looks down at his footwork, noting that he’s using her favorite lightsaber form, and raises her gaze to meet where his eye line would be. She changes her footwork to his preferred form, raising her blade so that her guard is up, and when Ben swings his blade - in the exact angle and trajectory Rey nearly always uses as she begins- Rey doesn’t block it, thinking that Luke doesn’t make her weak; and hoping that Ben doesn’t either.

Ben Solo, alias Kylo Ren, has had years of practice with a lightsaber. He knows the different forms, the proper counter measures, and his heart is only mildly elevated as he swings his lightsaber towards Rey, the angle perfectly executed so that he severs her handcuffs, turning off the blade so she won’t be hurt. 

“Ben.” Rey breathes out his name more than speaks it, and they share a moment, standing together, and then they spin around, their backs facing, and they move as one force in two bodies, taking on the eight guards circled around them. 

Luke Skywalker, uncle to Benjamin Organa Solo, talented master and worried mentor, watches the scene unfolding in front of him. He’s been waiting, counting, hoping for this moment, and takes a deep breath, feeling a deep sense of appreciation that he’s been led to this moment; and then he taps the guard nearest him on the shoulder, and when the man turns his head Luke knocks him to the ground. 

It’s been years since Ben has fought by Rey’s side. Years since she needed his help, years since he would show his face at Luke’s studio and train with her. If someone would have asked Rey she would have supposed that they would be sloppy if they began again, that they’d need time to return to the groove they’d shared when they were constantly paired together. 

And yet, when Rey swings her lightsaber at the guard to her right, rolling off Ben’s back for added force, casually twisting so Ben could have the space to leverage his superior reach she finds that they didn’t need it. 

Could it have been all the time they’d spent fighting each other? Rey wonders as she maneuvers around a scythe to attack the wielder, executing a stop thrust that leaves a perfectly circular hole in the man’s chest. Rey wrenches her weapon back, using the force of it to push the man into another and spin around to catch the blade aimed for Ben’s side. Ben uses the distraction to push against the two blades caught against his, and Rey admires how much strength he has when he kicks one of the men in his chest and the man stays down. 

Rey uses the fallen man’s back as leverage to execute a flawless flip, swinging her saber in a way that Luke always complains as too reckless, but Rey’s always ignored, pleased with the results. This time is no exception, and she takes down the brute in front of her, growling. She can hear Ben’s labored breathing, and she spins around to him because it’s lost the mechanical sound to it. Ben’s without his helmet, his hair plastered to his head, laden with sweat, and he’s without his lightsaber; dragging at the weapon pressing into his throat. 

“Ben!” She shouts, and deactivates her lightsaber, tossing it his way. Listening for contact Rey reaches down, pulling up a vibroblade and attacking the man nearest her. Rey’s never trained with one before, and it’s much heavier than she expects; it drags on her swings and leaves her side more open than she likes. Rey looks around for Ben’s weapon, she finds it a meter away, she throws the weapon at her opponent, delighting in the vibrant sound of its landing as she forms a roll to reach for Ben’s saber. 

Rey comes to a stand, igniting the red saber and twisting it around herself, feeling for the balance of the weapon as she gets her bearings. Six men dressed in red are lying prone on the floor; and Rey would be delighted, but the last two have double teamed against Ben, hoping to overwhelm him. Rey meant to look for Luke or Snoke, but she only has eyes for Ben, his arms are shaking and he looks pale; his movements are slowing and Rey feels fear curdle in her stomach. 

Rey goes in recklessly, catches a blade on hers that slides to the shoulder, making purchase and causing her to scream - did it have to be her wounded shoulder? - but she easily forces the blade away. She growls as she twists around, spinning to protect another blade aimed at Ben’s side, acting defensively so Ben can have the space and freedom to battle. She hears his breathing slowing, taking on a meditative edge, and time slows with it; she feels the flow of power as she and Ben work side by side. A strange, mad part of her wishes they had more enemies to fight, to dominate, and then her shoulder twinges and she lets go of that part of herself, twisting and swinging her blade. 

After that time seems to speed up. These two guards seem better than the rest, but Rey knows that’s because she and Ben are waning; battling so many when they’re still wounded and operating on substandard sleep cycles. Even in their exhaustion it becomes clear the guards have never gone against opponents who have trained the way Rey and Ben have, and the pair makes quick, deadly work until no man is standing. 

For a moment the only sounds are their heavy breathing and twin hums from their lightsabers. Rey turns to look at Ben, who’s already staring at her. Ben opens his mouth, and then the doors blast open, causing Rey to flinch at the sound, and Ben to shut his mouth. 

Both grip their weapons, engaging in their favored stance. 

Then Republic officers stream through the doors, blasters raised and shouting at them to drop their weapons. Rey can hear Leia’s voice, Luke’s answering shout, silence where Snoke should be rasping at the situation, and Rey feels an overwhelming sense of relief. She turns off the blade, smiling at Ben, but he’s tracking the guards in front of him, and then everything’s lost in the sight of a group of officers surrounding them, blasters pointed and shouting for Kylo Ren to drop his weapon. 

Rey twists Ben’s lightsaber, finger poised on the igniter, sweat dripping, limbs weary, trying to plan escape routes and not focus on how thirsty she is. 

And then she hears Han’s clear voice, 

“Stop! That’s my son!” And he’s tearing through the group, standing directly in front of Ben. “Is this how you treat a hero?” Han shouts, incensed, and Rey has the privilege to watch Ben soak in the words, watching as the people around her slowly lower their blasters, watching as Ben turns off her lightsaber, and falls into Han’s arms.

Rey and Ben are in a hospital room, hooked up to different machines while countless healers enter and leave, poking them and staring at the machines in consternation, whispering about the readings from the one attached to Rey. All the adults are talking, attempting to explain their part in the night's festivities, talking over each other. Han and Chewie make their espionage sound more dangerous than it was, considering they didn’t need to raise a blaster, Luke boasts of taking down Snoke while in handcuffs, and Leia keeps pressing Ben for details of his plan, giving admonishment and praise in equal measure.

Rey isn’t listening, too exhausted to do more than lay her head in Ben’s lap, feeling him card his fingers through her hair, twisted so her throbbing shoulder only touches air. She was right, all those months ago, this is relaxing. Soothing. 

She never wants to move. 

“What do you mean you’re going to Ach-To?” Rey asks, and she’s proud of how even her tone is because she feels like screaming. The monitor attached to her wrist gives an alarmed beep. 

“It’s part of the deal.” Ben says, and his tone is perfectly even except it’s obvious he’s been crying, eyes red rimmed and lashes still wet. Rey wishes he went back to his pacing, before he spoke. Back to last night, when they shared her hospital bed and Ben explained how his every action in going back to Snoke was for her. Back to yesterday, listening to all these people who loved Ben speak with such camaraderie, when they knew Snoke was dead, and Ben’s penance was a thing of the future. 

“Fuck that.” Rey says, wishing her shoulder wasn’t so damaged so she’d been in the meetings with him, able to argue for his plea terms instead of hearing them second hand. 

Ben smiles, and Rey nearly crumples, missing the sight already. 

“I’d rather-”

“Ben!” Rey exclaims, still scandalized despite their behavior the past few days. She wonders when she’ll get used to this.

“-What?” He’s looking like he'd very much like to finish his sentence. Rey tries, and fails, not to blush.

“How long will you be gone?” And then his look crumbles, and he comes to sit next to her. Ben doesn’t respond right away, instead taking her hands into his and looking down at her palms.

“You should cut your nails.” 

“I’ll get right on that.” Rey says, not amused. “Ben, how long?”

“Luke thinks six months.”

“Six months?” Rey cries out, mind whirling. Rey reaches a conclusion she doesn’t like. “I suppose the report says you took down all the Praetorian guards yourself?” Ben doesn’t respond, just kisses her palms, which is answer enough. 

“Oh Ben. I’m supposed to be the one saving you.” 

“I prefer when we save each other.” And then she can’t be angry with him, even though she wants to be.

“We can video call everyday,” Rey begins, trying to make the best of it. Ben regrets to contradict her. 

“It’s likely technology doesn’t work on the island.” Rey’s face falls, too quickly for her to pretend everything’s all right. “I’ll write to you,” Rey looks up. “if you wish it.” And Rey mentally shakes herself; for how horrible this news is, it could be so much worse. She’s staring up at the man she loves, who loves her in return, and they’re both here, finally, on the same side. What’s six months in the face of that? 

“You better.” Rey says, grabbing his shoulders, trying to memorize his face, thinking his face will heal, that the scar will become nearly invisible and she’ll miss it; “Otherwise I’ll never forgive you.” 

And she waits until she hears his answering promise to seal her proclamation with a kiss. 

Epilogue.

Rey counts the days since Ben’s departure, telling herself she’ll stop as soon as a letter arrives addressed for her. 

She makes the marks in her mind, a heavy steel wall with hundreds of scratches. They’re supposed to be a symbol that this time is different, that she’s waiting for someone to return to her instead of marking how long it’s been since she’s been abandoned. 

But the marks keep growing, and no letters arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished!! I have a one shot between this work and the next that'll go up in the next few days. Feel free to skip it and go onto Part two. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
